Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Ca·nuck
n.Often Offensive Slang
A Canadian, especially a French Canadian.

How is it possible that there is a professional sports team with an ethnic slur for its team name? I'm sure you wouldn't see a team named the Nashville N-Words or the Washington Wetbacks. So, why is it OK for there to be a team named the Vancouver Canucks? The ethical issue of having a slur for a team name isn't really the subject of this blog though. A while back I was reading a review of the new NHL jerseys on Yahoo! Sports and it brought up an excellent point: it is very hard to create a good logo and uniform when your team name is essentially an ethnic slur. This got me thinking. Why don't the Canucks fully embrace their team name and create an equally offensive logo that has synergy with the team name? If they are going to have a borderline offensive ethnic slur as a team name, why not go all out and create a politically incorrect logo to match such as...

Cleveland Indians' Chief Wahoo

OR

The George Wasington University Angry White Man

Don't get me wrong, I love our good-natured neighbors to the North. I fully embrace many parts of Canadian culture: their national sport, their superior National Anthem, their delicious yet potent beer, and most importantly the special way Canadians can turn any definative statement into a question by tacking on a simple two letter word to the end. I mean, how can you hate a country that brought us Marty McFly, the musical stylings of Rush, Doug Flutie's glory days, and Pam Anderson's breasts?

I am asking you, my loyal readers to design a new politically incorrect logo for the Vancouver Canucks that will replace their current generic logo. The logo should illustrate some of the more prominent Canadian stereotypes. If you need inspiration, I recommend viewing the movie "Strange Brew" for ideas. The winning submission will be sent to the Vancouver Canucks and the winner will receive a Dozen donuts from Tim Horton's, a case of Molson Export, a Manitoba Moose tuque, and a cassette tape copy of Snow's "12 Inches of Snow" which includes the hit song "Informer". That is quite a prize package, eh?*

* Prize package hypothetical joke for the purpose of humor. No actual prizes will be awarded. All submssions must be received by January 31, 2008. Offer vaild for all U.S residents 18 or older. Offer void in Canada.