10 reasons to hate the...Seattle Mariners

by Stanley Cup of Chowder on Jul 25, 2008 12:48 PM EDT Comment 0 comments

1. Mariner Moose's rollerblading skills
You may remember in the 1995 ALDS, Mariner Moose broke his ankle when he crashed into the outfield wall while being pulled by an ATV on rollerblades. Unfortunately, I could not find a video or any photos of this incident. I assume it looked something like this...

2. Mariner Moose's driving skills

3. They won 116 games in 2001 and still couldn't get past the first round

4. One of the lamest promotions in MLB history: "Turn Ahead the Clock" Night
In 1999 MLB adopted the Mariners' idea and took the promotion league-wide. I was actually at the game that the Red Sox were supposed to wear their futuristic uniforms. The Red Sox claimed that the uniforms never arrived in time for the game (which I highly doubt) and never ended up wearing their futuristic unis. They did however give away replica futuristic caps. I still have my hideous metallic silver Sox cap, which to this day has never been worn in public.

5. They ruined the greatest happy hour promo ever

6. Harold Reynolds loves to hug it out

7. ...while Jay Buhner is more of an ass man

Did you know?: Buhner is nicknamed "Bone" and has the ability to vomit on command.

8. Their generic late 80's and early 90's uniforms with the yellow "S"
Now you too can own a piece of this era of bad sports fashion with your very own Yuniesky Betancourt game worn retro uniform.

9. "Seattle's Finest" aren't really big baseball fans

10. 10:00 start times on the East Coast

I know that isn't really a legitimate reason, but I'm on #10, cut me some slack.

One reason to love the Seattle Mariners: Ichiro's profanity laced pep talks