Offseason Malarkey and Tomfoolery: Pick Your All-Time Movie Hockey Team

Since we are officially in the dog days of the NHL offseason, I thought we would do something fun and get the readers involved (read: lazy and uninspired filler content). Here is how this is going to work, you have to come up with a complete roster comprised of movie characters (real-life players don't count, so no "Miracle" players. Slap Shot characters who were also players are OK.). You need a coach, 4 lines of forwards, 3 defensive pairs, and 2 goalies. You can also assign a captain and 2 alternate captains. Have at it.
Here is my team (I kinda went nuts with it):
Line 1: Chris Pratt (The Lookout...pre-accident, of course) - Bobby Barbato (Miachael Keaton in "Touch and Go") - Connor Banks (Mystery, AK)
Line 2: Stevie Weeks (Mystery, AK) - Dean Youngblood - Jean LaRose ("Strange Brew)
Line 3: Derek Sutton (Patrick Swayzee in "Youngblood") - Reg Dunlap - Gunner Stahl (D2)
Line 4: Jeff Hanson - Steve Hanson - Jack Hanson (You just can't split that line up)
D-Pair 1: - Doug Dorsey (D.B. Sweeney in "The Cutting Edge"...pre-accident) - One of the big Inuit guys (Mystery, AK)
D-Pair 2: Tree Lane (Mystery, Alaska) - Clarence 'Screaming Buffalo' Swamptown ("Slapshot")
D-Pair 3: Dean Portman - Fulton Reed ("The Bash Brothers" from Mighty Ducks series)
Starting Goalie: Darren McCord (Jean-Claude Van Damme in "Sudden Death")
Backup Goalie: Heaver (Keenu Reeves in Youngblood)
Healthy Scrathes: Ogie Ogilthorpe ("Slap Shot"), Denis Lemieux ("Slap Shot"), Skank Martin ("Mystery, AK), & The monkey from "MVP" (who doesn't want to see a monkey ice skate?)
Coach: Judge Walter Burns (Burt Reynolds in Mystery Alaska)
Assistant Coaches: Murray Chadwick ("Youngblood") & Gordon Bombay
Captains: Reg Dunlap (C), Bobby Barbato (A), & Connor Banks (A)
Owner: Tibbles the Hendrix Hockey exec ("D2")
GM: Joe McGrath ("Slap Shot")
Equipment Manager: Jan (Mighty Ducks Series)
Housing Coordinator: Miss McGill ("Youngblood")
Director of Public Relations: Charles Danner (Hank Azaria in "Mystery, AK")
Play by Play Team: Jim Carr ("Slap Shot") and Hyannisport Announcer ("Slapshot")
Studio Analyst: Donnie Schulzhoffer (Mike Myers in Mystery, AK")
Team Bus Driver: Bus Driver from "Slap Shot"
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Comments
He’s an assistant coach. You’re really going to put Estevez over Burt Reynolds?
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by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Jul 30, 2009 10:29 AM EDT up reply actions
I question Bombay’s game strategy. Flying-V is gimmicky B.S. He is a player’s coach though (excpet for that one time he banged the mom of one of his players), so he is better suited for an assistant role.
by Stanley Cup of Chowder on Jul 30, 2009 5:26 PM EDT up reply actions
He also thinks that stick-handling is called deking.
Join me on the Hockey Blog Adventure! (or Twitter.) GO BRUINS! (and Wild!)
by Cornelius Hardenbergh on Jul 30, 2009 5:31 PM EDT up reply actions
Glad someone picked up on that reference.
by Stanley Cup of Chowder on Jul 30, 2009 8:40 PM EDT up reply actions

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