'Twas the night before Hockey Christmas, when some GMs clean house
All the rumors were flying, execs had flames to dowse;
The banners were hung from the rafters with care,
In hopes that Lord Stanley soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of a goal scorer danced in their heads;
All the radio callers struggled to understand the cap,
While the die-hards tried to sort the scoops from the crap,
When out on Twitter there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to the interwebs to see what was the matter.
"The Bruins trade Dennis Wideman for Rick Nash"
Just another rumor to add to the growing pile of trash.
Players all nervous wondering who's gonna go,
While TSN gives the complete blow by blow,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But more nonsense about Canadian women drinking beer,
Looking for a D-Man, who can move the puck quick,
While trying to unload our big lumbering hick.
More rapid than eagles the offers they came,
Fans will soon find out he's not what they claim;
"Now, Whitney! now, Hamhuis! and others to mix-in!
For Wheeler! for Ryder! for Wideman and Bitz n'..!
To the top of the standings or "PC dropped the ball!"
"Throw it away! Throw it away! Go for Taylor Hall!"
Who's gonna sell and who's gonna buy?,
Who's gonna smile and who's gonna cry?
I guess Blue Jackets fans still have the Crew,
and the Oilers fans have a giant mall too.
What? This must be some sort of goof.
This trade is happening? I'll wait for the proof.
At the end of the day, will he still be around?,
or Down to Nashville where they love that country sound?
Ignore that injury to his head and his foot,
Can this guy be dealt or will he stay put?;
Will this dude be a rental, or will he come back?,
Every team is looking to improve the attack.
For players and fans this week can be scary!
I hope we don't get "Euro Trash", right Milbury?
Casual fans will bitch about JJ not spending the dough,
when we end up with a stiff that's never been in the show;
The rumor mongers all lie through the skin of their teeth,
While ridiculous rumors circle the web like a wreath;
This year we haven't worried as much about Chiarelli,
As Team USA has had our eyes glued to the tele.
Bob McKenzie is a right jolly old elf,
The expert on covering trades, just ask him yourself;
PC said the market is tough terrain to sled,
There's a deal in place? Don't believe everything you've read;
After a few weeks off, it's right back to work,
While fans with cellphones think Ovie's a jerk,
By 3 o'clock Wenesday some will be wearing new clothes,
Teammates and friends will suddenly become foes;
Will we get a player that plays hard to the whistle,
or a guy that's more fragile than a thistle?
I heard the TSN Crew exclaim as they signed off just right,
"Happy Hockey Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."