RALEIGH NC - JANUARY 28: Eric Staal.of the Carolina Hurricanes answers questions during NHL All Star Player Media Availability apart of the 2011 NHL All-Star Weekend at the Raleigh Convention Center on January 28 2011 in Raleigh North Carolina. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)
Tonight was the inaugural NHL All-Star Draft, so I figured I would document this
awkward made-for-TV malarkey historic event.
Eric Staal and Nicklas Lidstrom were named as the captains. Mike Green and Ryan Kesler were named alternate captains of Team Staal, while Martin St. Louis and Patrick Kane were selected to wear the A's for Team Lidstrom. Team Staal will wear white and red jerseys. Team Lidstrom will wear blue jerseys.
Ladies, gentlemen, and TV viewers expecting to see bull riding, welcome to the 2011 NHL All-Star Draft!...
8:00 - First gym class reference
8:01 - The Sedin brothers creep me out.
8:01 - The set up on stage looks like the studio that they shot Team Double Dare in.
8:03 - NHL always tries to do too much with the All Star jerseys. Just keep it simple.
8:05 - Staal wins "puck flip" for 1st pick.
8:05 Staal takes the physical challenge
8:06 - 1st Pick: Staal takes Cam Ward...What a lame hometown pick. Way to pander and waste the first pick.
8:07 - Ward jokes about being the best player available.
8:08 - Lidstrom actually takes it serious and takes Steven Stamkos.
8:09 - Mike Green makes the pick for Staal and predictably picks Alex Ovechkin <-- I wrote that sentence before it happened.
8:10 - I have no clue what Ovie just siad.
8:11 - Kane makes the pick for Lidstrom and takes Duncan Keith.
8:12 - Daniel Sedin to Team Staal.
8:13 - So far everyone has picked their teammates.
8:13 - Henrik Sedin to Team Lidstrom. Oh, the manufactured drama!
8:15 - Big Z goes to Team Staal and ogles the girl who takes his sportcoat.
8:15 - Team Lidstrom is broadcasting their draft strategy over a live mic.
8:16 - Shea Weber to Lidstrom.
8:16 - All drafts should go this quick.
8:17 - Rick Nash goes right after they interview him. Is the fix in?
8:18 - With the third pick of the night, Stanley Cup of Chowder selects a Coors Light.
8:18 - Timmy goes to Team Lidstrom. Former Vermont Catamount Martin St. Louis makes the pick. James Duthie just jinxed Tim Thomas for the rest of the season.
8:20 - Jeff Skinner looks like he is 12.
8:26 - Either no one told Patrick Kane how this thing works or he is really dumb. I'm leaning towards option B.
8:27 - Team Staal gets the goalie they should have selected first by drafting Henrik Lundvist.
8:28 - Danny Briere to Team Lidstrom. Clearly Team Lidstrom is planning on starting a fight near the bench.
8:30 - Eric Staal picks his brother Marc.
8:31 - Dustin Byfuglien goes to Team Lidstrom.
8:32 - Jonathan Toews is tonight's Brady Quinn.
8:32 - Patrick Sharp to Team Staal.
8:33 - Toews "finally goes" to Team Lidstrom.
8:34 - Dan Boyle to Staal. Host James Duthie makes a joke about this being free agent signee Boyle's first time being drafted.
Denis Lemieux Marc-Andre Fleury is selected by Lidstrom.
8:36 - Mike Green begrudgingly picks Carey Price. (All goalies had to be picked by the 10th round)
8:37 - My favorite thing about this draft so far: the awkward faces that Ovechkin makes.
8:38 - Jonas Hiller goes to Team Lindstrom and oddly looks like a bigger, nerdier version of Patrick Kane.
8:38 - All the goalies are gone.
8:45 - Tim Thomas smiles and nods as he ignores Carey Price's rambling story about almost getting drilled in the head by a puck.
8:47 - Some little kid jumps on the stage. Oh wait, that is Jeff Skinner. My bad. He went to Team Staal.
8:49 - Brad Richards (who apparently will play wing) goes to Team Lindstrom.
8:50 Kris Letang and his bad hockey hair goes to Team Staal.
8:50 - Keith Yandle to Lidstrom.
8:51 - Claude Giroux gets selected by Team Staal.
8:52 - Lidstrom picks Brent Burns.
8:52 - The picks are flying now.
8:52 - Erik Karlsson to Staal.
8:53 - Martin Havlat to Lidstrom.
8:54 - Corey Perry is selected by Team Staal.
8:54 - Lidstrom picks Anze Kopitar.
8:55 - 3 picks left for each team.
8:55 - They go back to the 4 man analyst team to break down the draft so far. Did they really need a 5 man broadcast team? How does Bob McKenzie have time to debunk every Twitter trade rumor and be the 5th mic for the NHL All-Star Draft.
8:57 - Awkward shot of players that just want these dudes to shut up and get this thing over with.
8:59 - Phil Kessel is still available. They do realize that there is no checking or defense played in this game. If there is one player built for the All Star Game, it is Phil Kessel.
9:02 - Crowd shots of the slack-jawed yokels.
9:02 - Mic catches Martin St. Louis and Nicklas Lidstrom joking about how young Jeff Skinner looks.
9:04 - Rookie Draft: Tyler Hall and Logan Couture are rookie captains. The rookies were split into two groups. Hall won the puck flip and decides his team should join Team Lidstrom for the Skills Competition. Tyler Seguin is on Couture team and will join Zdeno Chara on Team Staal.
9:05 - Team Staal picks Patrik Elias.
9:07 - Matt Duchene goes to Team Lidstrom and is much better dressed than the last time we saw him at a draft. Who could could forget his Dwight Shrute-esque short sleeve dress shirt get up at the NHL Draft?
9:11 - Matt Duchene with a Survivor "voted off the island" joke. Welcome to the Year 2000!
9:12 - David Backes to Staal.
9:13 - Loui Eriksson to Lidstrom
9:13 - Paul Stastny goes to Staal. Meaning Phil Kessel is the last pick the draft.
9:15 - Kessel is still a media dyanamo. The kid has the personality of drywall.
9:15 - Kessel gets the NHL to donate money to a charity of his choice and he gets a new Honda for being picked last. Nothing says big shot NHL All-Star like a Honda hatchback!
9:32 - Bass Fishing and Bull Riding will be canceled for an encore presentation of the draft on Versus!