Friday Mourning Skate: Why Patrice Bergeron wants to be, should be, and would be better off as a Montreal Canadien

"I swear if you leave I'm gonna clip the heck out of you" - Elsa

Editor's Note: this post was purchased by Habs Eyes on the Prize Editor theactivestick for a $50 donation to Movember. Feel free to disagree in the comments instead of starting a torch-and-pitchfork mob. Please.

Patrice Bergeron has been an excellent player for the Bruins ever since he was a rookie in 2003. He's also a triple gold member and the only player to win a World Juniors gold AFTER a world championship. He's a special player, and pretty much heir-apparent to the captaincy should Zdeno Chara retire. But maybe that's not what he really wants. Maybe that's not best for him. Maybe continuing with the Bruins isn't what he should do. The obvious destination? Why, the team in his home province of Quebec, of course: the Habs.

Now, now, please calm down. No reason to get angry yet. The world ends today so we don't have to remember this ever happened, right? Okay, let's continue.

Patrice Bergeron would be better off a hab. Why? It's all about opportunity. He's the perfect captain for them. Sit down, Brian Gionta, you midget. Patrice Bergeron is not only a better player than pretty much anyone on that roster, he's got the drive to drag that team to at least mediocrity (scott gomez is still there, lol). I mean, this is the guy who made future Hockey Hall-of-Famer Mark Recchi look better while keeping Brad Marchand in line. Then the next year, he turns around and helps TyTy to a fantastic year, scoring-wise. However, as good as Bergeron is....he's not the best guy in black and gold. That honor belongs to Zdeno Chara in terms of people who would show up to training camp, or without that limitation, a case can be made for Tim Thomas. Regardless, the only guy Patrice might not automatically be better than in Montreal is probably Carey Price, and Patrice knows how to play with a great goalie.

Basically it's a no-brainer for him. He'd be the big fish in the small pond, playing close to home, and an instant fan favorite. It would be easier for his family to get to games, and they wouldn't have to cross a border to do so. Patrice also wouldn't have to babysit every incoming french-speaking prospect while they learn English. Less time for a more exciting position. He'd be a fool not to want this.

But should he? Would it be better for the game of hockey? Yes, yes, right now we would all give a lot for hockey to just come back, dammit. However, if it weren't a lockout year...it would be great. Imagine the storylines! Joe Haggerty would be literally rummaging through his trash to find dirt, and Jimmy Murphy would probably write a 5-piece series on the move. Jeff Israel would come up with another hashtag and we'd all have fun on twitter for at least an hour or two. Jerseys would be burned en masse. Death threats would happen. In two languages. It would be absolute chaos. If you thought this was a rivalry before, well....woof. Of course, the move wouldn't have as much of an impact for Montreal when Marchand clips his left leg clean off at the knee in the neutral zone in their first meeting. The Montreal Police would most CERTAINLY be called.

And that is why Patrice Bergeron would be better off a hab, should want to be a hab, and should be a hab.

The preceding post was written as part of a Movember fundraiser. Thanks again to Laura for the generous donation.

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