Max "Patches" Pacioretty is well known for being an agitating little shit. Famously he pushed Zdeno Chara after scoring in overtime, and then due to an architectural flaw in the Bell Centre got his neck broken in a pretty vicious hit. Due to that hit, we're not supposed to talk mean about him. However, he's doing much better now and we can go back to covering how much of a shitbag he is. Like almost immediately after his return, when he took Letang's head off. And beforehand, when he boarded Eaton. I'm no Pens or Isles fan, but those hits shouldn't be in the game. He's real bad.
Some love to see his smiling face, but PK Subban is the current roster's "guaranteed to score at least one goal this year that will drive you to drink until you forget" guy. Montreal's had one forever. Or at least it feels like that. But it's true. Look at some of the big games against Montreal ever since they were lucky enough to draft him. Thank god we got Tommy Fucking Cross 8 spots ahead. One that stands out immediately in my mind is Game 7 in 2011. Bergeron gets sent off in the last three minutes of the game for high sticking. Then, with less than 2 minutes left and Subban (from turtleneck and Captain Midget) launches a bomb that just barely scrapes through and ties the game. Fuck you, Pernell Karl. Fuck you and your slewfoot.
He's tiny! He's french-canadian! He's a little shit! He's scored big goals against us! I know, I know, it's going to be tough to figure out who I'm talking about. But in this case, it's Daniel Briere! Yeah, that's right - he was added to the roster over the summer and now plans to terrorize the FlorthEast. Or whatever you call what Briere does. So far he's 0-0-0 with 4 PIMs and was selected to serve a bench minor. Off to a great start!
Remember when Carey Price let in a bunch of goals in the playoffs? Which playoffs, you ask? lol, why choose one?
Remember when Nathan Horton scored on him to push the Bruins past Montreal in 2011, and eventually on into the cup? Boy, I bet if you're a habs fan that keeps you up at night, especially when Pacioretty was about to return...
Remember when Carey Price's playoff save percentage is a full .010 less than his regular season save percentage?
His Turtleneck looks real stupid. Plus, I think he might have won a faceoff against Bergeron once. Oh yeah, he did...