I love the Providence Bruins.
There's something about these guys, and the games they play in the Dunkin Donuts Center that just brings me to joy. Also those uniforms ain't even close to half bad. Those gold sweaters are beautiful and I'm glad I'm the proud owner of one.
...Of course, The Providence Bruins lost tonight, but that doesn't mean they haven't been good. They've been great, actually.
In fact, sitting 3rd in the Atlantic division standings of the Eastern Conference, I'd say they're at least due for some deeper playoff runs than that of the
accursed Wilkes/Barre-Scranton Penguins.
But enough about that, let's get on to the Photoshops!
Alexander "Best player in the AHL" Khokhlachev. The kind of player you right songs about. And who else to write these kinds of songs than Barry Manilow?
...Alright, maybe someone better and decidedly more russian, like Arkona or something. But just imagine how fun that song would sound!
At the Khokhla (KHO!) Khokhlakabana (Khokhlakabana~)
The hottest little prospect next to Barkov and Yan-Pavel LaPlant-ah
At the Khokhla (KHO!) Khokhlakabanaaaaa~
Scoring, and Passin', and occaisonally bashin'
At the Khokhla...Calder she comes~
I dunno, I think it'd be a better song.
Let us say the Spoon's prayer:
Hallowed be thy name
Thy Celly come
Thy goals be bomb
Thy skills will be done in boston
As they are in Providence
Give us this day our daily scoring breadth
And forgive us our Turnovers
As we forgive those
Who Turnover unto you
And lead us not into #GRITANDHART
But deliver us from Pugilism
For your skills are mad
And they are Hab killing.
...Yeah, I like Ryan Spooner. To hell with what Kalman, Fluto and Claude says, he's ready and he will be a powerful part of the big team one day.
Hey Mike el Moore, can we go thrift shopping?
...I have no witty song or remark for this. I did this one because sometimes I am just lazy. And in need of a good laugh.
Sometimes, when no one is looking, Chris Casto feeds information about the americas to his older brother in Cuba.
Poor Jared Knight.
The oft-forgotten part of the (first) Seguin trade, Jared Knight's career hasn't been a necessarily smooth one these last couple of years. Injury completely hampered his ability to compete well last season, and he has been in and out of said injury for awhile now. He's not a bad player, but the sheer fact that he's missed so many games really makes me concerned about him. What's positive? He's willing to put up with anything to get a chance at the NHL, trimming weight, extensive exorcise, good movement of the puck, relentless chase. It is why he is the black knight. Beaten and bloody, but still standing.
His name is Flick. Rob Flick. Hence, I made him an Ant. Like Flick. From A Bug's Life.
I might've mentioned at some point that I'm lazy.
And our last one is for Malcolm Subban.
Fantastic. Special Appearances by Niklas Svedberg (The true back up in my opinion...) and Peter Chiarelli, cultivator of swedes.
So, I hope you enjoyed this edition of my Photoshopping madness, Join me next time when I begin discussing...the enemy.