FanPost

SCOC Memes and Player nicknames, Redux

This is an Edited and updated version of the original, now with new memes and improved player nicknames

New to SCOC? Gonna be a regular, or just here to bicker while the Bruins take your team apart in the playoffs?

Doesn't matter. We're a pretty meme-y bunch around here, and you'll have no idea WTF is going on!

Fortunately Dr. Handgrenaid is here with this handy linguistic guide to SCOC, an invaluable tool for the veteran, the rookie, or the interloper!

So, without further adieu, here we go!

Corgi- An adorable dog, familiar and (seemingly, to some, not me) obsessed with advanced stats, such as Corsi, PDO, and others that I pretend to fully understand (disclosure: 50/50 at best). When mentioned, it is acceptable (or required) to post pictures and gifs of corgis, especially Lobster Dog, lord of Corsi Corgis (aka TomServo42)

Oflodnap- He who must not be named, the possession black hole. Never say his name 3 times in a single thread, or much like Beetlejuice, he will appear and never leave the roster. Ever.

Gif Jennings- Semi-competitive .gif posting sweepstakes, run by the gif masters (and SCOC youth movement) Birda and Bobby16May. Also relates to how-to guides on posting gifs and other images

Sparkle Ponies- If you haven't met Birda yet, just wait, you'll find out

Goat and Broom- Members of our defensive depth, to whom all other Bruins defensemen (not named Chara or Seidenberg) must be compared to. If either of these are better than you, you belong either in Providence or the Press Box, delivering Nachos to Chiarelli/Neely/Sweeney

#TeamPooh- Followers of the greatest third jerseys ever worn by the Bruins

#TeamNotPooh- There's no accounting for bad taste

#ChowderAfterDark- Any good double entendre (especially ones that require a reeeeall stretch of the dirty mind), to be deployed like 'That's what she said', except no one will punch you in the arm for being a douche

Sparkly BAMF- The Flying Finnish King. There is no other

Loleafs- Never inappropriate

Ryan Callahan- If mentioned, always shout his name and discuss grit, because WWPMD?

Bring in a third team to make it work, Shock the World - Things to be said when discussing absurd, HFboards-type trades. Or really any other time. This is a good one.

Anything autoracing- Arenacale's influence on us all. Don't be surprised to see a morning thread wander off this way.

HEOTP- A Habs blog here on SBNation. If you go over there and disagree with them, or 'Troll', you will be banned indiscriminately and unjustly. Basically a third world banana republic. Proceed at your own risk.

Jerkshire- Willfully obtuse Managing Editor at our hated enemy, Habs Eye on the Prize (HEOTP, EOTP). Actually named Andrew Berkshire, but hes a jerk. So there's that

#BerkshireLogic- The logic that any time, anywhere, a player (usually a Hab) gets injured, it was due to a malicious and illegal hit from one or more Bruins. Does not exclude injuries sustained while driving cars in player's home countries during the offseason (probably, this theory is untested).

#Offersheettheactivestick- Laura is pretty great despite being a Habs fan and blogger. Its a shame to see such talent wasted

Fuck Matt Cooke- With a rusty wire brush. You know this, but it bears constant repeating.

Pile on the Isle- SCOC road trip to the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum. Its days are numbered.

Hoity YouTube- Something about drinking wine. Probably should let Phony or Heather or Sarah explain this one.

#TypicalBessieMoss- The ladies of SCOC. Named for the woman who named the Bruins. See above posters for details.

Not Water- Alcohol. Terminology only acceptable when hungover on a weekday morning.

Calling players girls (e.g. Crosby, Sedins)- Don't do this. This is where our Resident Masshole spiked the ball and left us all forever.

MicDrop- You know what this is, but some folks don't take kindly to treating A/V equipment this way. Proceed as you will.

Facepunching/Punchicizing/Embarrassing Vancouver Reporters- Things Shawn Thornton does well (see also: "Suck it, Felger")

Hockey- Something Shawn Thornton doesn't do well, but (most) of us forgive due to the above (mainly the last one).

Fighting- Something Greg Campbell probably shouldn't do. It never goes well.

#AlltheSubbans- Gotta catch 'em all (Stupid Habs and Canucks)

#OfferSheetPK- See above

Milkman's Son- Because Chris Bourque can't possibly be the Son of God, can he?

Clutchy McCageface/Cageface/Shinoda- The many names of one Chris Kelly, once and future scapegoat (with reason). Once played with a full cage over his face, has been clutch at times. May or may not look like Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park

DOY- Days of Y'Orr, a funny as hell, but boisterous Bruins blog. Gets more love than we do from the hockey world at large.

PD- Puckdaddy. Wyshinski good, Lambert bad. Mooney a Canucks fan. Or something. Given that this is probably how you found us, this one is unnecessary

Yippee Paille Motherfucker!- Not Seventh Player Award worthy. Apparently. Possibly half Pelican.

Joe Haggerty/KPD- The less said, the better

Pierre Mcguire, Doc Emrick... fuck this, the whole NBC broadcast team- See above

Powerplay- A good time to go to the washroom or get another beer.

Powerkill- Effective, unlike above

MartyParty!- Marty Turco. He gets it. See also: #VelveetaSaves

Recch!- Rec. Except with 1000% more Mark Recchi

BRUINS ENIGMA WIN WIN- Playoff slogan of short-term good luck charm and all-around mystery person, Jaroslav

Ponybombing- The tactical deployment of Birda and/or Bobby16May armed with Sparkle Ponies against opposing team's game threads. It is not advised to invoke this without a named target.

#BlakeWheelersFault- If a Bruins is offsides, guess who really did it

A Whole Team of Blake Friggin' Wheelers- See above

Punch All The Whales!- Because Canucks need punchin' too

Looks like an 'A' to me!- Its impossible to fail your season-ending grades after winning the Cup. Unless you're Tomas Kaberle.

Potato- Not an expressly SCOC meme, but this root vegetable would be a far better GM than Dave Nonis

Randy and the Spud- Leaf's management

Quo**- Don't say it, don't think it. Remove this word from your vocabulary. At least until we've scored our sixth goal. If you so much as think it, Gozer will send the destructor in the form of the the Stay Puft Marshmallow man

Hey Guys Bear (TM)- A wild and crrraaazy guy

New For 2103-2014!

@Trade Him@- When a star has a bad shift, there's only one solution

@Trade Everyone!@- Whelp, we lost a game, better blow it up

Play Like Carl- Everyone should hope to play like Soderberg

Undefeated in the Meszaros Era- 14 games, in and this is true-ish (thanks, Bettman point!)

The Meszaroic Era- See above

Operator, Get me Sweden!- Chia's new M.O.

ALL THE S-BERGS!!!- Seriously, we have like 3 of them now

Mola Ram- He'll show up if you have heart

GRIT, WARRIOR, LEADERSHIP- Greg Campbell has these things, so they tell us

MOARBIG, PUNCHING, GRIT- Things Lucic has made our division value simply by existing

Schrodinger's Kaberle- He won a cup with the Bruins, but then he was a Hab. He simultaneously exists and doesn't exist

Thank You, Hannu! Clap Clap. Clapclapclap- For giving us our Yeti

Swedish Connection- Yeti to Loui, Loui back to Yeti, Yeti Scores!

Moar Swedes- Keep 'em coming, Pebben

McQuaiding- Plowing headfirst into the boards with no effort at self-preservation

Dapper Claude- Claude Julien has mighty fine fashion sense

All Glory to the Hypnoclaude- You better believe it

Illiterate Punkasses and bandwagoners- Chowderheads

Player Nicknames:

The Forwards:

Patrice Bergeron- Perfect Patrice, Saint Patrice, Bergy

Brad Marchand- Marshmount, Marsh&, Ampersand, Ampers&, Noseface Killah, Rad Brad, Little Ball of Hate

Reilly Smith- Reilly Coyote, R Smitty, Wiley Reilly

Milan Lucic- Looch, El Loochador, La Loocha Libre

David Krejci- Matrix, DK46

Jarome Iginla- Iggy

Carl Soderberg- Yeti, Yetiberg, Swedish Unicorn, Yeticorn, The Dread Pirate Soderberg, The Dread Pirate Yeticorn

Chris Kelly- Clutchy McCageface, Cageface, Shinoda

Loui Eriksson- The Kingsman, Loui Loui, Blue Steel

Shawn Thorton- Thorty, Twos, The Quiet Man, Thorts

Daniel Paille- Pie, Paella, Paillecan, Yippee Paille, Motherfucker!

Gregory Campbell- Soup, Soupy, WARRIOR, GRIT

Jordan Caron- Horse, Glue, Baseball, Dogfood

Ryan Spooner- Spoons, The Tick, Spoonman

Craig Cunningham- Bam Bam

Justin Florek- Flo, Flo-ridah, The Yooper

Alexander Khokhlachev- Koko, New Khok

Matt Fraser, Matt Lindblad, Nick Johnson- Okay, these guys all played this season, but don't have nicknames that I know of. Get on it people!

The Defense-

Zdeno Chara- Z, Big Z, Oh Captain my Captain, Zdangles

Dennis Seidenberg- Seids, DER GERMAN HAMMER, German Engineering

Johnny Boychuk- Johnny Rocket, Destroychuk, Manchuk

Dougie Hamilton- Beaker, The Douglas, Instruct me how to Douglas

Adam McQuaid- Quaider, Darth Quaider, MC Quaider, Mullet

Torey Krug- Kruuuuuuuuuuug, Little Lion Man, Baby Lion

Kevan Miller- Miller Time

Matt Bartkowski- Bart, Bort

Andrej Meszaros- andrej3000, Mezzy, One hot Mesz, The Warlock

Corey Potter- Harry Potter, Colonel Potter, Chiarelli's nacho guy

David Warsofsky- Wars Of Sky, Sky Wars, Star Wars

Zach Trotman-...

Goalies-

Tuukka Rask- Tuuk, Sparkly BAMF, Flying Finnish King, Tuukkamania, This Adorable Fucking Goalie

Chad Johnson- Hi, I'm Chad Johnson, TresCero, The Chad

Nicklas Svedberg- That Swedish guy in Providence, Sveddy, Sveddy Bear

Malcolm Subban- The better Subban, PK's awesome brother, Malcolm in the Middle

Line Combos:

Lucic-Krejci-Iginla: ILK, KIL

Smith-Bergeron-Marchand- PBR

Kelly-Yeti-Loui: Loui CK

Florek-Yeti-Loui: Swede Flo

Spooner-Yeti-Loui: YES

Pie-Soup-Twos: Merlot

This is a living document. Suggestions are always welcome

Many FanPosts are written by readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Stanley Cup of Chowder, SB Nation, their sponsors, or business partners.

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