This is an Edited and updated version of the original, now with new memes and improved player nicknames
New to SCOC? Gonna be a regular, or just here to bicker while the Bruins take your team apart in the playoffs?
Doesn't matter. We're a pretty meme-y bunch around here, and you'll have no idea WTF is going on!
Fortunately Dr. Handgrenaid is here with this handy linguistic guide to SCOC, an invaluable tool for the veteran, the rookie, or the interloper!
So, without further adieu, here we go!
Corgi- An adorable dog, familiar and (seemingly, to some, not me) obsessed with advanced stats, such as Corsi, PDO, and others that I pretend to fully understand (disclosure: 50/50 at best). When mentioned, it is acceptable (or required) to post pictures and gifs of corgis, especially Lobster Dog, lord of Corsi Corgis (aka TomServo42)
Oflodnap- He who must not be named, the possession black hole. Never say his name 3 times in a single thread, or much like Beetlejuice, he will appear and never leave the roster. Ever.
Gif Jennings- Semi-competitive .gif posting sweepstakes, run by the gif masters (and SCOC youth movement) Birda and Bobby16May. Also relates to how-to guides on posting gifs and other images
Sparkle Ponies- If you haven't met Birda yet, just wait, you'll find out
Goat and Broom- Members of our defensive depth, to whom all other Bruins defensemen (not named Chara or Seidenberg) must be compared to. If either of these are better than you, you belong either in Providence or the Press Box, delivering Nachos to Chiarelli/Neely/Sweeney
#TeamPooh- Followers of the greatest third jerseys ever worn by the Bruins
#TeamNotPooh- There's no accounting for bad taste
#ChowderAfterDark- Any good double entendre (especially ones that require a reeeeall stretch of the dirty mind), to be deployed like 'That's what she said', except no one will punch you in the arm for being a douche
Sparkly BAMF- The Flying Finnish King. There is no other
Loleafs- Never inappropriate
Ryan Callahan- If mentioned, always shout his name and discuss grit, because WWPMD?
Bring in a third team to make it work, Shock the World - Things to be said when discussing absurd, HFboards-type trades. Or really any other time. This is a good one.
Anything autoracing- Arenacale's influence on us all. Don't be surprised to see a morning thread wander off this way.
HEOTP- A Habs blog here on SBNation. If you go over there and disagree with them, or 'Troll', you will be banned indiscriminately and unjustly. Basically a third world banana republic. Proceed at your own risk.
Jerkshire- Willfully obtuse Managing Editor at our hated enemy, Habs Eye on the Prize (HEOTP, EOTP). Actually named Andrew Berkshire, but hes a jerk. So there's that
#BerkshireLogic- The logic that any time, anywhere, a player (usually a Hab) gets injured, it was due to a malicious and illegal hit from one or more Bruins. Does not exclude injuries sustained while driving cars in player's home countries during the offseason (probably, this theory is untested).
#Offersheettheactivestick- Laura is pretty great despite being a Habs fan and blogger. Its a shame to see such talent wasted
Fuck Matt Cooke- With a rusty wire brush. You know this, but it bears constant repeating.
Pile on the Isle- SCOC road trip to the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum. Its days are numbered.
Hoity YouTube- Something about drinking wine. Probably should let Phony or Heather or Sarah explain this one.
#TypicalBessieMoss- The ladies of SCOC. Named for the woman who named the Bruins. See above posters for details.
Not Water- Alcohol. Terminology only acceptable when hungover on a weekday morning.
Calling players girls (e.g. Crosby, Sedins)- Don't do this. This is where our Resident Masshole spiked the ball and left us all forever.
MicDrop- You know what this is, but some folks don't take kindly to treating A/V equipment this way. Proceed as you will.
Facepunching/Punchicizing/Embarrassing Vancouver Reporters- Things Shawn Thornton does well (see also: "Suck it, Felger")
Hockey- Something Shawn Thornton doesn't do well, but (most) of us forgive due to the above (mainly the last one).
Fighting- Something Greg Campbell probably shouldn't do. It never goes well.
#AlltheSubbans- Gotta catch 'em all (Stupid Habs and Canucks)
#OfferSheetPK- See above
Milkman's Son- Because Chris Bourque can't possibly be the Son of God, can he?
Clutchy McCageface/Cageface/Shinoda- The many names of one Chris Kelly, once and future scapegoat (with reason). Once played with a full cage over his face, has been clutch at times. May or may not look like Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park
DOY- Days of Y'Orr, a funny as hell, but boisterous Bruins blog. Gets more love than we do from the hockey world at large.
PD- Puckdaddy. Wyshinski good, Lambert bad. Mooney a Canucks fan. Or something. Given that this is probably how you found us, this one is unnecessary
Yippee Paille Motherfucker!- Not Seventh Player Award worthy. Apparently. Possibly half Pelican.
Joe Haggerty/KPD- The less said, the better
Pierre Mcguire, Doc Emrick... fuck this, the whole NBC broadcast team- See above
Powerplay- A good time to go to the washroom or get another beer.
Powerkill- Effective, unlike above
Recch!- Rec. Except with 1000% more Mark Recchi
BRUINS ENIGMA WIN WIN- Playoff slogan of short-term good luck charm and all-around mystery person, Jaroslav
Ponybombing- The tactical deployment of Birda and/or Bobby16May armed with Sparkle Ponies against opposing team's game threads. It is not advised to invoke this without a named target.
#BlakeWheelersFault- If a Bruins is offsides, guess who really did it
A Whole Team of Blake Friggin' Wheelers- See above
Punch All The Whales!- Because Canucks need punchin' too
Looks like an 'A' to me!- Its impossible to fail your season-ending grades after winning the Cup. Unless you're Tomas Kaberle.
Potato- Not an expressly SCOC meme, but this root vegetable would be a far better GM than Dave Nonis
Randy and the Spud- Leaf's management
Quo**- Don't say it, don't think it. Remove this word from your vocabulary. At least until we've scored our sixth goal. If you so much as think it, Gozer will send the destructor in the form of the the Stay Puft Marshmallow man
Hey Guys Bear (TM)- A wild and crrraaazy guy
New For 2103-2014!
@Trade Him@- When a star has a bad shift, there's only one solution
@Trade Everyone!@- Whelp, we lost a game, better blow it up
Play Like Carl- Everyone should hope to play like Soderberg
Undefeated in the Meszaros Era- 14 games, in and this is true-ish (thanks, Bettman point!)
The Meszaroic Era- See above
Operator, Get me Sweden!- Chia's new M.O.
ALL THE S-BERGS!!!- Seriously, we have like 3 of them now
Mola Ram- He'll show up if you have heart
GRIT, WARRIOR, LEADERSHIP- Greg Campbell has these things, so they tell us
MOARBIG, PUNCHING, GRIT- Things Lucic has made our division value simply by existing
Schrodinger's Kaberle- He won a cup with the Bruins, but then he was a Hab. He simultaneously exists and doesn't exist
Thank You, Hannu! Clap Clap. Clapclapclap- For giving us our Yeti
Swedish Connection- Yeti to Loui, Loui back to Yeti, Yeti Scores!
Moar Swedes- Keep 'em coming, Pebben
McQuaiding- Plowing headfirst into the boards with no effort at self-preservation
Dapper Claude- Claude Julien has mighty fine fashion sense
All Glory to the Hypnoclaude- You better believe it
Illiterate Punkasses and bandwagoners- Chowderheads
Patrice Bergeron- Perfect Patrice, Saint Patrice, Bergy
Brad Marchand- Marshmount, Marsh&, Ampersand, Ampers&, Noseface Killah, Rad Brad, Little Ball of Hate
Reilly Smith- Reilly Coyote, R Smitty, Wiley Reilly
Milan Lucic- Looch, El Loochador, La Loocha Libre
David Krejci- Matrix, DK46
Jarome Iginla- Iggy
Carl Soderberg- Yeti, Yetiberg, Swedish Unicorn, Yeticorn, The Dread Pirate Soderberg, The Dread Pirate Yeticorn
Chris Kelly- Clutchy McCageface, Cageface, Shinoda
Loui Eriksson- The Kingsman, Loui Loui, Blue Steel
Shawn Thorton- Thorty, Twos, The Quiet Man, Thorts
Daniel Paille- Pie, Paella, Paillecan, Yippee Paille, Motherfucker!
Gregory Campbell- Soup, Soupy, WARRIOR, GRIT
Jordan Caron- Horse, Glue, Baseball, Dogfood
Ryan Spooner- Spoons, The Tick, Spoonman
Craig Cunningham- Bam Bam
Justin Florek- Flo, Flo-ridah, The Yooper
Alexander Khokhlachev- Koko, New Khok
Zdeno Chara- Z, Big Z, Oh Captain my Captain, Zdangles
Dennis Seidenberg- Seids, DER GERMAN HAMMER, German Engineering
Johnny Boychuk- Johnny Rocket, Destroychuk, Manchuk
Dougie Hamilton- Beaker, The Douglas, Instruct me how to Douglas
Adam McQuaid- Quaider, Darth Quaider, MC Quaider, Mullet
Torey Krug- Kruuuuuuuuuuug, Little Lion Man, Baby Lion
Kevan Miller- Miller Time
Matt Bartkowski- Bart, Bort
Andrej Meszaros- andrej3000, Mezzy, One hot Mesz, The Warlock
Corey Potter- Harry Potter, Colonel Potter, Chiarelli's nacho guy
David Warsofsky- Wars Of Sky, Sky Wars, Star Wars
Tuukka Rask- Tuuk, Sparkly BAMF, Flying Finnish King, Tuukkamania, This Adorable Fucking Goalie
Chad Johnson- Hi, I'm Chad Johnson, TresCero, The Chad
Nicklas Svedberg- That Swedish guy in Providence, Sveddy, Sveddy Bear
Malcolm Subban- The better Subban, PK's awesome brother, Malcolm in the Middle
Lucic-Krejci-Iginla: ILK, KIL
Kelly-Yeti-Loui: Loui CK
Florek-Yeti-Loui: Swede Flo
This is a living document. Suggestions are always welcome