Stanley Cup of Chowder, a Boston Bruins community

"I have to admit it’s hard to be happy for new hockey cities when they win the Cup. Especially teams that are down South. I don’t know if you’ve ever gone to a game in the Southeast regions of the NHL, but it’s hilarious."

"I’m also guessing that there is some sort of advertisement about an upcoming rodeo or a gun show. If someone on the Whalers, I mean the Hurricanes, gets a hat trick, everyone gets a free side order of hash browns at the Waffle House."

"There are very few things that I can watch suffer in this world and not feel one ounce of pity. It's a very short list.

1) Telemarketers
2) Eric Mangini
3) The studio audience of the Ellen DeGeneres show
4) Canadiens fans

I'm just kidding...sort of."