I know the live blog thing as been done to death. I admit it, I'm a complete hack.
We join this broadcast already in progress...
9:07
Apparently the Taco Bell Legends & Celebrity Softball Game is next...can't wait. Justin Morneau steps in.
9:08
"It's like a Kiwanis Club in here" Rick Reilly's comment about the number of white guys in the Derby.
9:13
Morneau hits 8. Tied for lead with Lance Berkman
9:14
Just realized Yankee Stadium is shaped like a giant protective cup
9:15
Ryan Braun
9:15
Berman's take on Braun: "He has a name for the Derby"
9:16
Braun's agent is throwing to him. You don't see Boras doing that.
9:20
Braun finishes with 7
9:25
I love that Lou Pinella Aquafina spot.
9:27
Josh Hamilton. Hamilton's personal pitcher is a 71 year old high school coach.
9:28
Berman tells us that Hamilton blew his $4 million signing bonus on drugs
9:28
Hamilton hits a BOMB
9:30
This has turned into an after school special. Don't do drugs kids, but if you do, make sure you can hit a curveball.
9:32
For some reason Edinson Volquez walks out and places a briefcase on home plate
9:33
We just had a Jeffrey Maier situation. No HR.
9:33
8 HR 6 Outs
9:35
When Hamilton was out of baseball he went to the batting cage occasionally
9:36
He got many of his tattoos while high. That explains it.
9:37
Gammons just compared Hamilton to Jeff Allison
9:38
16 HR 8 Outs ...I think the old man pitching is going to drop at any moment
9:39
Police rough up some fans as they scramble for a ball
9:40
#18 is 518 feet
9:42
#21
9:42
David Ortiz has seen enough and jokingly walks towards the exit and is booed by the classy fans of NY.
9:44
Hamilton ties Bobby Abreu's HR Derby record for a round with 24
9:45
New record: 25
9:45
26
9:46
The old man pitching takes a breather. Milton Bradley rubs him down.
9:47
27
9:47
28
9:48
Hamilton finishes with 28. Both teams gather around to congratulate him
9:49
Josh Hamilton dreams about Erin Andrews.
9:50
We are going to need a Deep South translator to figure out what the 71 year old pitcher just said.
9:51
My dad just called me from his trip to Wyoming to talk about the HR Derby and to tell me that he was 3 feet away from a bison today.
9:58
Reggie Jackson is the special guest on the broadcast fresh off his appearance on every sports and celebrity blog on the internet. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that he isn't rooting for Ryan Braun.
10:05
Reggie Jackson makes it through the interview without any inappropriate comments
10:08
Morneau hits 9 for the second round, 17 total
10:14
ESPN guys force religion down the viewers' throats. "Hamilton was a cocaine and heroin addict and then he found God. It's a bad night to be an athesist."
10:20
Braun finishes with 7 in the second round, 14 total
10:21
Erin Andrews talks to Joe Mauer about playing wii with old people
10:22
Hamilton doesn't need to hit in the second round, but is still taking some hacks. Hamilton vs. Morneau in the finals
10:24
Hamilton almost kills a photographer
10:25
Hamilton decides he's warmed up and calls it quits for the second round.
10:27
Cal Ripken and Bookman the Library Cop from Seinfeld shelling for Holiday Inn
10:31
Some nonsense where some guy from Illinois picks a field and each player gets one swing to win him a car and baseball tickets. Both guys fail (probably on purpose)
10:39
Morneau wears #33 for Patrick Roy. I wish I knew this when I was writing my "10 reasons to hate the Twins" entry earlier.
10:41
5 HRs for Morneau
10:47
1 HR, 4 Outs for Hamilton.
Berman: "He's lost that loving feeling"
10:50
3 HR 8 Outs....Yankee Stadium on it's collective feet as "Final Countdown" plays in the background
10:51
9 Outs
10:51
Hamilton finishes with 3 in the finals and loses to Morneau. MLB needs to change how the HR Derby works. Shouldn't the guy who hits the most home runs win?
10:53
Hamilton praises the lord, makes Erin Andrews nervous
10:57
Over-sized checks are the coolest. Erin Andrews just butchered Justin Morneau's last name
11:00
Don't go anywhere folks it's the Legends & Celebrity Softball Game previously recorded from Sunday afternoon.
11:02
Ozzie Guillen leads it off for the NL with Rollie Fingers on the hill for the AL. Fingers throws one pitch and is taken out by Manager Kenny Mayne and replaced by Goose Gossage.
11:05
Some guy named Justin Tuck. Apparently he plays for the New York Giants.
11:06
Chris Rock looks like Kenny Lofton in a baseball uni
11:07
First appearance by Erin Andrews who is looking good in a sun dress.
11:10
Wade Boggs is the early candidate for guy that is going to take this thing way too seriously
11:11
Billy Crystal in a game a little more his speed. Maybe his spring training experience will pay off ... nope
11:12
Paul O'Neil hits a 2 run shot
11:13
Spike Lee is in the game. Unfortunately Reggie Miller isn't there heckling him.
11:13
Emerson alum Maria Menounos grounds out. Menounos is the lone celeb wearing a B on her cap.
11:17
The deaf ball girl from Seinfeld reaches on a fielder's choice
11:19
Tim Raines is rocking a sweet old school Expos cap. He hits a towering 200 foot homer. Note: they put up a temporary fence that most of the ex-players could piss over.
11:22
Mike Golic stops the game for some reason
11:23
Whoopi Goldberg grounds out
11:24
George Brett lines out
11:25
Mike Golic fouls out to the catcher and is heckled by his broadcast/life partner Mike Greenberg
11:28
Gary Thorne tells us that the wind is blowing out as if it matters
11:29
These things are lame and pathetic, but if I was a celebrity, I would definitely play.
11:30
James Denton hits a hard grounder at Wade Boggs who commits an error. He's OK but his extremely large ego is still bruised.
11:31
Chris Rock strikes out and is working on the Golden Sombrero
11:33
3rd Inning Stretch NL 8 AL 3 ...who cares?
11:33
It's Billy Baldwin...He's in everything
11:47
Just trying to clean up this blog. Nothing important happened.
11:48
Biggest absence this year: Jimmy Kimmel. Kimmel was a staple in this thing for years.
11:50
Kenny Mayne and Gary Thorne talk about hitting the OTB and betting on the ponies.
11:51
Gossage throws one over Mike Greenberg's head
11:57
Wade Boggs is intentionally walked to get to Kenny Mayne who flies out to end it. NL wins 8-7
11:59
Chris Rock tells Erin Andrews "I'm happy to be a heterosexual"
12:00
That will do it until next year.