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'Twas the Night before Hockey Christmas


'Twas the night before Hockey Christmas, when all through the net

All the creatures were stirring,  some even placed a bet;

The rumors were thrown around without even a care,

In hopes that Chris Pronger soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of a Cup run danced in their heads;

Peter Chiarelli was still trying to work the cap,

With hopes to avoid a long summer's nap,

When out on the interwebs there arose such a clatter,

I sprang to my laptop to see what was the matter.

Away to SBN Deadline Hub I flew like a flash,

 Meanwhile Eklund continued to throw up trash.

The confusion on the face of Garth Snow

Will tell us that everything must go,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a ridiculous (e4) rumor involving the B's and Robyn Regehr,

With a little old country singer with a site full of junk,

I knew in a moment it must be bunk.

More rapid than eagles his "inside knowledge" they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Pronger! now, Bouwmeester! now, Tkachuk and Cole!

On, Leopold! on Guerin! on, Antropov and Jared Boll!

To the top of the standings! Or "think about next fall"!

Now Dandenault and Kovalev dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

All night long the rumors continued to fly,

With fans hoping their team would go after this guy,

So off to the message boards they flew,

With stories about their neighbor's uncle who is the equipment guy too.

And everyone demanded to know "where's the proof?"

The prancing and pawing of each little troll's spoof.

I was getting sick of all rumors being spread around,

When up on my email came Murph with a bound.

He had a scoop on the B's getting a forward, a little slow of foot,

While PPP and Chemmy wondered what the Leafs were all aboot;

B's fans still wondered what guys were coming back,

Concerned about next year while still ahead of the pack.

When the Ducks are done dealing they could be just Perry!

Hey, whatever happened to Chris Terreri?

Panthers fans wonder what will happen to Bouw,

And Sharks fans:  if Claude's playoff beard will be as white as the snow;

Playoff thoughts brought joy to Ovie, as he flashed his remaining teeth,

And the smoke signals still encircled the Island like a wreath;

What goes on behind closed doors with Cam, Don Sweeney, and Peter Chiarelli?

Will they find the missing piece or end up with a guy the same age as Dino Cicarelli?

Will the Bruins find a forward with Marco on the shelf?,

And I laughed when I see more rumors, in spite of myself;

Brendan Witt is in hot water for elbows to the head,

Hopefully PC won't land a player we dread;

Peter spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

As Stars fans ponder the fuure of their fashionista jerk,

As the Coyotes rethink putting a team where the ponds never  froze,

We think "Could the Bruins land the kid from Melrose?";

The deals will likely come right down to the whistle,

And away the expiring contracts flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard Dandenault exclaim, is he drove out of sight,

"Happy Hockey Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."