You may have heard by now that 20 year old Chicago Blackhawks forward Patrick Kane was arrested early this morning along with his cousin after allegedly assaulting a cab driver in his hometown of Buffalo. The pair allegedly punched and choked the cab driver and stole money from the man. According to reports, the driver was unable to make exact change when he was given $15.00 for a $13.80 fare. If these charges are in fact true, Patrick is both cheap and an awful human being. So this begs the question: what does a millionaire NHL hockey player need with a $1.20?
The following is a list of ways that Patrick Kane could have spent that $1.20 in Buffalo:
One Suicidal Wing from Anchor Bar
Scott Norwood replica jersey
O.J. Simpson's Heisman Trophy
A bag of commerative asbestos from the Buffalo Memorial Auditorium
Drive from Buffalo Airport to Niagara Falls
Frank Reich's 1992 AFC Championship ring
Down payment on a starter home in Buffalo
120 pulls on one of the penny slot machines at Delaware North's Fairgrounds Gaming and Raceway
Donate $1.20 to Marshawn Lynch to help him pay for his legal fees
Exchange it for $1.30 Canadian, go over the border and drink legally
A night with a high class Buffalo area escort
Pay one of Delaware North's employees their hourly pay
Go on a dollar menu date (Dutch of of course) with the disgusting fat pig that heckles Aaron Ward
Pretend you are Drew Rosenhaus and prank call Terrell Owens