From the blog that brought you "Twas The Night Before Hockey Christmas" and "Twas The Night Before Game 7" comes the same tired old gimmick one more time:
Twas the night before puck drop and we got a new name for the house
The B's are back on the map, but still Simmons' ex-spouse.
Some are thinking that this could be "The Year of the Bear",
While others are still bitching that Kessel won't be there.
The puckheads were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Lord Stanley danced in their heads.
This summer the B's learned the reality of the cap,
Now there's the matter of a Cup drought to snap.
When out on the web there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to Puck Daddy I flew like a flash,
Ovie's got a tramp stamp, how deliciously white trash.
The Garden PA will start blaring "Time to Go"
While Tuukka and Johnny question if they can make it in "The Show".
When, what to my wondering eyes should disappear,
But a soft miniature forward, traded for picks and some Canadian beer.
The Legendary Fred Cusick has left us, now it's just Jack & Brick
Gone is"The Voice of the B's", now we put up with Jack's lame schtick .
More rapid than eagles his obscure references they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and hyperventilated all game!
"Now Timmy! now, Zee! now, Ryder and Bitz..'n...
Bergy! Krejci! Savvy and some new guys to mix in!
To the top of the standings!..or will the paper lion fall?
One things for sure: this team knows how to brawl!
As the leaves start to fall, the pucks start to fly,
The expectations for this team are set pretty high.
So up to the The Garden went the Lucic Crew,
With hopes of seeing a fisticuff and maybe a goal or two.
Rabid Black & Gold fans ready to tear off the roof
We hear Rancourt's still around, but we need the proof.
All summer long we wanted to hear that sweet sound,
A better anthem singer will not be found.
He was dressed all in his tux, from his head to his foot,
While some balcony dwellers are covered in ashes and soot.
Man, it feels good to have the B's back,
Now, it's time to start things off on the right track.
PC is trying to make all forget about Harry
Will Varly crack just like CAAAAREY?
The B's didn't think Phil was worth the dough,
Neither do I, but then again what do I know?
The Bruin were never getting the new Shark with the missing teeth,
but the rumors circulated around the web like a wreath.
What really went down with the firing of Paul Kelly?
Hey, why can't I find Versus on my tele!
Behind the Caps' bench, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A look at the bandwagon jumpers all "Rockin' the Red",
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
Ovie spoke barely an English word, but went straight to his work,
And started filling the Verizon Center seats, but some think he's a jerk.
If it's like last year, the Caps are admirable foes.
Perhaps I should just stick to prose!
The B's will play hard right to the final whistle,
From crafty passes to point shots like a missile.
The future of the this team looks bright,
"Let's Go Bruins!" Let's start this off right!