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Wednesday Mourning Skate: Spacek Sucks His Way To Retirement

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Spacek in his natural habitat - skating to the bench after a goal against.
Spacek in his natural habitat - skating to the bench after a goal against.
Phillip MacCallum

Well this is like a day or two old news by now but that's what happens when you're out all night playing Cornhole. Anyways, frequent whipping boy Jaroslav Spacek has sadly retired. Post-04-05-lockout, he played with the Blackhawks and Oilers, going to the Stanley cup final and losing. Then he played for Buffalo for a few years before heading to Montreal. Where he sucked.

Yes, it was always a comfort to see Spacek come off the bench because you knew his slow ass was going to give the puck up in the offensive zone. Or maybe Johnny Boychuk would feed him his lunch. Or whatever, maybe he just floats around and wonders when he can sneak back into the locker room for a quick Pilsner. One thing is for sure: He never scored against the Bruins in the playoffs.

However, he did draw a 5 minute major for making the mistake of not seeing where Milan Lucic was. Also, making the mistake of playing in the Bell Centre, where the boards will nearly kill you. It's really something that he was most useful for the Habs, lying on the ice motionless, getting Lucic tossed. I'm not saying he was faking or anything, but I am saying that his play was terrible.

Retirement may be the best move he's made in his career. We'll miss that fat drunk.

However, he left us a parting gift: 2011 Stanley Cup Champion Tomas Kaberle costs Montreal 4.25 against the cap until 2014.

Cheers to you, Jaro!