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Guest Post: A review of Cribs, Providence Bruins style

Bob DeChiara-USA TODAY Sports

(Editor's note: While other sites are bringing you the hard-hitting reviews of NHL shows like Behind the B and 24/7, we felt it was of the utmost importance to bring you reviews of the only show not named Bear and the Gang that REALLY matters: P-Bruins cribs. The following is a guest post by Caitie. Watch the video and read on.)

Subban's room is nice and clean and for that, I must tip my invisible hat to him. He also has a gold XBox (or whatever kids play with nowadays) controller thing that makes him look like a baller...I think I used that right. Also, I think that this poor boy is possibly a reptile, considering that he's wearing a winter hat and jacket the whole time they're doing the tour.

Lindblad's room is boring yet somewhat clean, except for the bed. Your room looks 56% nicer if you just pull up the covers (scientific fact) or in his case, a small red blanket. Poor boy needs to go to Ikea and get a Furgenstaal comforter or some simple shelving instead of using five billion Command hooks like he was back in a college dorm. You can put nails in the walls now, Matt! I love how he made Tuukka sound like the nicest dude in the world when Tuukka tries so hard to look like a badass.

Fallstrom's very humble abode is ruined by the plaid shirt that he is wearing because it looks like something Patrick Kane would wear. Anyways, I thought that LoveSac (I WANT ONE SO BAD) was his real bed considering that the other one has no comforter on it. What is with Lindblad and him not using comforters and meanwhile Subban is possibly slowly freezing to death? Thank God that he has actual furniture in there though but why isn't his bedside table next to the bed? Important questions.

There's a nice attempt to make the fridge sound like it's full of super healthy foods (almond milk and salmon) then Malcolm ruins it by whipping out the Toaster Strudels and reminding me that my childhood sucked because my mom believed in a healthy, balanced breakfast of Cheerios...and not the frosted kind.

Cool episode though. Needs more awkwardness because I live for that.