In light of a certain sausage tosser and an extended offseason, perhaps it's time to review some basic hockey etiquette. It's been a while, and that's cool - maybe people have just forgotten some things. Let's refresh. Feel free to comment on anything I've missed!
1. Wait for The Whistle.
Seriously - it’s not rocket science. It’s a fast moving game and whistles come for penalties, tv time outs, all sorts of stuff. You aren't five, you can hold it. Even if you are a raging alcoholic you can wait a couple more minutes to get two more beers. I swear 98% of bad feelings in rinks could be solved if people would just wait for the whistle.
2. Learn to Read a Ticket.
Honestly it’s not that hard. Find the section, find the row, and find the seat. I’ll give you a hint…if you can count, you can find your seat. Also, if you think someone’s in your seat when you get there, double check your ticket. One of you is wrong; don’t make it everyone else’s problem while a game is being played.
Seriously, stop that. Right now. Immediately. They aren't listening to you; also 95% of the time they don’t have the shooting lane. You sound like an idiot and everyone around you probably hates you.
4. Seriously – Wait for the Whistle!
There’s a sign down there that says as much. The game is fast and I don’t need you blocking my view when Daniel Paille finally scores on a breakaway.
5. Just Because You Paid a LOT of Money for your Seat Doesn't Give you License to Act Like a Jackass.
Look around you. EVERYONE paid a lot of money to be here. They paid it to see Seguin score a nifty goal or Patrice be perfect – not to listen to you get drunk, swear and hit on chicks half your age. I paid a lot of money for my ticket, more than most people in this league paid for theirs, in fact; I am not making it terrible for you to watch the game.
6. You Played Hockey, That’s Great!
Just because you played hockey at any level doesn't mean you can make that stop that Tuukka Rask just didn't or not miss that shot that Rich Peverley just shot wide. Seriously, stop it.
7. Quit Banging on the Glass.
Really, there’s a special place in hell for you people. It’s unbearable to hear on TV and stuff like this can happen.
8. The Whistle, Wait for it.
In very few situations is it warranted for you to continuously get up during play and block the view of other people. Let me let you in on a secret, you getting up with less than 2 minutes in the period doesn't mean some magical pass to the front of the beer or bathroom line.
9. Harassing someone In an Opposing Jersey.
Are you that guy that just picks on the guy sitting watching his team? What’s the point? Likely this person traveled to be here and if they are keeping to themselves, why start the abuse. Friendly jabs and banter – this is fine and fabulous. I've made some very awesome hockey friends this way. But, really swearing at someone, telling them to go home, and throwing things at them – it only makes you look like an idiot. More importantly, it reflects poorly on our fan base. Knock it off.
10. Wearing the Opposing Jersey.
Don’t be a jerk. You likely traveled and spent money to get here, enjoy the game, and engage in friendly banter. I’m all for you rooting for your team, just don’t be a jerk about it, because that the guy that harasses you will bring friends and seriously I don’t need the distraction.
11. Save your Selfies for Intermission.
How many pictures do you need of yourself and your friends at the game? You don’t need to constantly have your flash going off in my eyes while I’m trying to watch the game.
12. The Whistle: Respect it.
13. Watch Your Beer.
If you spill it, apologize. Typically that’s all it takes. I’m shocked when I turn around after being spilled on and I become the jerk. YOU spilled the beer on ME!
14. Cell Phone Waver Guy.
Seriously the building isn't that big – text your friend and meet them somewhere. Stop calling everyone you know in the building to find out where they are.
15. Don't Throw Stuff on the Ice.
You don't like a call, boo it. No need to throw stuff on the ice. It can cause issues for the team, like having to retake a shootout attempt or causing a bench minor. Our PK is awesome, but can you imagine if Seguin only had one shootout move or if the go ahead goal was given up during a power play because some jackass threw something on the ice?
Not a rule or guideline, more of an observation. If you really believe that hockey is all about drinking and fighting, why not just watch at a bar? Fans of the game can’t stand you – stop dragging us through the mud with you. You just become a pretty lame stereotype that reflects poorly on the sport and really on the city. Knock it off.
Also....WAIT FOR THE EFFING WHISTLE.