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Better Know a Dumb Jerk: Marian Hossa


That's right, he's been to the finals a bajillion times recently. But not because he's been on one team that's made it repeatedly. No, Hossa has been team-jumping. Of course, he started with the Senators, drafted behind such luminaries as Brad Ference (no relation), Daniel Tkaczuk, and Jason Ward. He stuck around for a while, but eventually signed a three year deal and was promptly traded for Dany Heatley. Heatley of course remains in Ottawa to this day to great succehahahaha nevermind.

Hossa was a part of the Thrashers dynasty (1 trip to the playoffs, swept by NYR) and scored a playoff point with them. Eventually he left. Pittsburgh picked him up to load up for a run at the cup, and...well, you know how this story usually goes. In this case, they went to the Finals but Detroit beat them.

So Hossa did what anyone would do in that situation: immediately sign a one-year deal with the team that beat you. You know how that story ended, with Crosby lifting the cup and the entire city of Pittsburgh collectively laughing at Hossa for picking the wrong team.

So Hossa tried again, but picked Chicago. And one of those super-long deals that's now illegal in the CBA. And that's why:

Yeah, so they're considering buying him out I guess. Or the fans are, anyhow. And that's from just a week or so ago, too. Poor guy. I guess that's to be expected when you sign a 12 year deal and immediately get shoulder surgery, sidelining you for 8 weeks to start the season. A quitter, basically.

What a jerk. Just ask Dan Hamhuis: