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2013 Report Cards: The Jaromir The Jagr


We thought we had Iginla. Then we found out we didn't. So we got Jagr. Who was better than Iginla prior to each of them joining their new teams. But then he came here. He displaced Tyler Seguin on the Bergeron-Marchand line despite Seguin being faster. What can we say? Julien likes big butts and he cannot lie. And Jagr has a hockey butt on his hockey butt. The guy's lower body is ridiculously built. It's incredible. But enough about his butt.

Jagr was a positive in Corsi Rel but he had some of the more sheltered minutes. One of the only Bruins to end up with a majority of offensive zone starts against tough competition, but that's not surprising. He can keep that puck in the zone well. He's a wizard at possession. He has a decent enough wrister, and played well.

But there was one thing missing from his game.

The Salute.

We had Jagr in the Black and Gold for a few months and he did not salute a single time. Not when he scored that nice goal against the Panthers or anything. I guess he was waiting for the right time.

But it never came.

No, through nearly 400 minutes of playoff TOI in 22 games, Jaromir Jagr went the full Kaberle - 10 assists, 0 goals. He certainly helped drive play and wasn't a liability, but bury one already. It was fun watching everyone else slow down in the triple-OT game while Jagr skated onwards, but it would be nice if that had been rewarded with a goal.

The Kaberle comparison brings up an interesting thing - both of them are from Kladno, CZ. There aren't a lot of players from there, but we're apparently going to need to pick up another one mid-season to make another run to the finals. Who are we going to get?

  • Ondrej Pavelec - we're all set on goalies, thanks
  • Michael Frolik - will Chicago let him go? Maybe, but doubtful.
  • Jakub Voracek - will Philly let him go? ahahahaha yes they will, for Chad Johnson to upgrade in net
  • Tomas Plekanec - will Montreal let him go? To the Bruins? Mid-season? lol

Jaromir's time here was a magical one, but not quite magical enough.

Final Grade: F. No salutes? See me after class.