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The Worst Zdeno Chara bobblehead ever

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Oh, Lowell.

Harry How

Lowell, MA is known for a lot of things: its historical textile mills, the second-best UMass campus, and...minor league sports with hilarious promotional nights!

In the past, the Lowell Lock Monsters (and later, the Lowell Devils) gave away some great hockey-related souvenirs to fans. From souvenir cups to bobbleheads to neat posters, these teams had it all.

There's no more minor league hockey in Lowell anymore, but luckily the Lowell Spinners, the single-A affiliate of the Red Sox, are there to fill the kitschy gap. And luckily for fans, they will immortalize pretty much ANYONE in bobblehead form.

Case in point: tonight's giveaway. It's a Zdeno Chara bobblehead!

What is this.

Has Zdeno Chara ever actually had that pattern of facial hair in the history of his existence???

He is not nearly angry-looking enough.

THIS LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ZDENO CHARA.

But hey, he did in fact play for the Lowell Lock Monsters approximately eleven billion years ago, in 1998-1999, for 23 whole games! He had two goals, two assists, and 47 PIMs in that time, and spent the other half of the season with the New York Islanders. Maybe he'd have played in the AHL again if Mike Milbury hadn't....you know, been Mike Milbury.

Anyways, if for whatever reason you end up in Lowell at the Spinners game tonight and you get one of these, please take pictures and send them in! Apparently they are playing a team called the "Lake Monsters" and are wearing Lock Monsters throwback jerseys (do crossover-sport themed throwback jersey nights happen often?)

(Thanks to Brian Messenger for the tip on this one!)