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The Official Boston Bruins Google Autocomplete-based Season Preview

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Earlier today, USA Today's Michael Katz evaluated every NFL quarterback using Google Autocomplete. It's hilarious and accurate and a brilliant idea.

Now it's our turn. With the season fast (sort of) approaching, it's about time to start looking at previewing the new-look Bruins. Most of these players we know, but some we don't. You find out about players by googling them, right? Googling their stats, their NHL history, their junior team history, their marital status what seriously like everyone does it, key youtube videos of them being badass, whether or not they're a jerk...

Let us go to the magical land of Google Autocomplete to see what we can learn from how the internet has evaluated our merry band of 2013-2014 Bruins!

I highly recommend actually googling some of the funnier results; in doing so you'll stumble across such gems as this:

Sweet mother of Bergeron it's Christmas in August what the hell.

TO THE GOOGLE!