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29 Teams We Hate: St. Louis Blues

St. Louis Blues Franchise Highlight
St. Louis Blues Franchise Highlight

So once upon a time the St. Louis Blues joined the league. They were the best of the 6 new teams, which were all thrown together into the new team division. This is where the term "Original 6" comes from. The Blues made the Finals for the first 3 years in this arrangement, coached by Hockey Hall of Famer Lynn Patrick and Hockey Hall of Famer Scotty Bowman. After the Bruins whooped up on the far inferior team in 1970, the Blues have never returned to the Finals, much less won a cup. So, it's established: they're a bunch of fackin' loozahs, kid.

The Blues have had a lot of championship-caliber talent, too. Just going through their history, they had Stanley Cup Champion Scotty Bowman coaching, Stanley Cup Champion Scott Stevens, Stanley Cup Champion Brendan Shanahan, Stanley Cup Champion Brett Hull, Stanley Cup Champion Al MacInnis, Stanley Cup Champion Wayne "Wayne Gretzky" Gretzky, Stanley Cup Champion and holder of most-points-in-a-single-game record Doug Gilmour, Stanley Cup Champion Grant Fuhr, Stanley Cup Champion Jacques Plante, Stanley Cup Champion Doug Harvey, Stanley Cup Champion Guy Lapointe, Stanley Cup Champion Dickie Moore, Stanley Cup Champion Joe Mullen, Stanley Cup Champio-

Well, you get the idea. A lot of talent has run through the St. Louis Blues revolving door of futility. I think it was made by the same people that brought you the Flyers Goalie Carousel. Not only has the team been bad at hockey, but they've also brought the Homicide of St Louis City up. Before the Blues existed, there were fewer than 100 homicides multiple times. Since the Blues were awarded to St. Louis so that Bill Wirtz could get someone to upgrade St. Louis Arena, there has been a single year - 2003 - where fewer than a hundred homicides happened. So not only are the Blue responsible for keeping up a tradition of mediocre St. Louis sports, but they're also getting people killed.

There is one nice thing about St. Louis, though:

If only they had an MLS team, the Revolution could really use the help. Yes, the Cardinals have since won 2 World Series and are pretty dang good, but it's just a matter of time before that pattern fixes itself.

Oh wait, I forgot the part where we hate them! I was just so busy talking about how Boston has contributed mightily to St. Louis's continued problems with winning in sports. Um, well...let's see. It's Missouri, I guess? I dunno, seems like a pretty boring state. No wonder the population of St. Louis has been declining since 1950.

Musically, they gave us...Nelly, I guess? And Sheryl Crow. Wait, Sheryl Crow??? THANKS A LOT YOU ASSHOLES.