The turtleneck, as a hockey fashion faux pas: a (very long) haiku

Eric Bolte-USA TODAY Sports

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Some players have flair
Gretzky, Orr, Howe and Richard
Some guys are way cool

Take, for example
Teemu, Jagr, King Henrik
But there are others

Others who adopt
Strange equipment rituals
Jock strap, bare chest, socks

There's Crosby's old jock
Shanny's pads and Madonna
Nieuwendyk's powder

Lindbergh: orange shirt
Rob Ray, forever shirtless
The Great One tucked in

But turlenecks, though?
They never really caught on
As hockey fashion

Unless you're Tomas
Plekanec loves turtlenecks
And it just seems weird

Hmm... maybe he's cold?
Self-conscious about long neck?
Emulates Yashin?

Habs always turtling,
Hence the turtleneck wearing?
Team spirit, yo!

Regardless of why
Plekanec always wears one
They'll never catch on

Superstars wore them:
Gretzky, Kovalchuk a spell
Super Mario

Heatley enjoys them
Jari Kurri wore a kilt
But no turtleneck

What if it's removed?
Will Tomas' head pop off,
Like dandelions?

Fashion enigma!
They popular in Kladno?
No, says the Jagr

Andrej Mezaros
Punched him in the turtleneck
To his great chagrin

He really needs them
Sixty percent cotton, and
Then polyester

Almost ran out once
Plekanec, upset
And crisis ensued

Bruins should take them,
And then watch it all unfold
Tomas flops, eyes ref

Zebra shakes his head
No penalty for stealing
Out of style shirts

Nice try, Habitants
Death via turtleneck theft?
Ah, embellishment!

Second round is here
So watch your turtlenecks, boys
Bruin wins coming!


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