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Players we love (and love to hate): Vancouver Canucks

Ew, Vancouver.

Bruce Bennett

Player We (I) Love: Radim Vrbata

When Vrbata signed in Vancouver I became an emotionally tattered mess. I didn't throw anything or ball my eyes out like a prom-going adolescent whose date ditched them for a more popular, athletically skilled classmate, but still, I was somewhat depressed my fantasy land replacement for Jarome Iginla came off the market, and to Vancouver nonetheless.

I haven't always hated Vancouver, in fact there was a time when I enjoyed watching the Sedin twins produce despite playing alongside whatever underachieving winger made his way to British Columbia's largest city. However, this changed, rather quickly, when the spring/summer/greatest two months of my life rolled around in 2011. That's when Aaron RomeAlexandre Burrows and a city of arsonists made me no longer enjoy those  hideously-ironically-cool-1970s-orange-blazer-black-v-neck-jersey-things that the Canucks wore. I used to be a fan, but like so many other emotionally immature nitwits who worship their hometown team, I no longer appreciate such a travesty because, well, uh your team stinks and stuff and I don't like them so whatever bro. Or something like that. I haven't eaten anything today yet, so please forgive me.

Anyway, Vrbata's a good, somewhat undervalued guy. Granted he received a large contract from a team that won't be winning anything anytime soon (burn, because Boston!), but there wasn't as much buzz around this Czech as one might expect. Vrbata's not going to lead the league in goals, instead finding a comfort zone somewhere in the low-20's - despite a ridiculous 2011-2012 season where home-piece shot 15.1% and tweezed Bucci's "boy do I still wish I was college" saucy mitts 35 times. He's steady, I guess is the point I'm trying to make.

Plus he has a Czech accent, and that's cool.

Player We Hate: That Weirdo Who Bites Fingers (Burrows)

"hey man I'm going to bite you because I'm immature, like the kid whose writing this piece. I bet he's going to cry because the Ruby Tuesday's in his town closed."

Yes, Alex. Yes I am.