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Players we love (and love to hate): Anaheim Ducks

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Oh my god, he knows Seth Jones, too!
Oh my god, he knows Seth Jones, too!
Bruce Bennett

Player We Love: Teemu Selanne John Gibson

I've been informed that Teemu Selanne really means it this year with his retirement, so let's take a look down the rest of the Anaheim roster. Okay...no, no, no, no, no...hmm. Alright, let's just look at who's been good for the USA. Ryan Kesler? Sorta but also lol at your whole team if he's the most likeable part. Kyle Palmeiri? nope. Nate Thompson? nope. Couple other scrubs, nope, nope. Cam Fowler? now we're talking! One u18 gold, one WJC gold. Let's see, anyone else? Oh wait, it's JOHN FUCKIN GIBSON UP IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER!

PUNCHING FORWARDS FIGHTING GOALIES LIKE IT AIN'T NO THANG

GETTING SHUTOUTS IN HIS PLAYOFF DEBUT!

STOPPING 95.6 PERCENT OF PUCKS TO WIN GOLD MEDALS FOR AMERICA!

The choice is clear: John Gibson is the player on Anaheim we love the most. Keep on keeping on, defender of freedom.

Player We Hate: Saku Koivu

Okay, so for any other team in the league this would be Corey Perry's stupid rat face, but Corey Perry was never captain in Montreal and hasn't ever been a big part of the Bruins losing in the playoffs. Saku's stupid face did all of that and more. Sure, maybe I should go easy on him because he beat cancer. But do you remember what he did the year he beat cancer? He came back in the last week or two of the year, got Montreal to the playoffs, and led them to victory over the Bruins. Couldn't have taken 2 more weeks . Here's game 6 of that series, if you don't remember:

What an asshole. The only upside? He was one of the two longest-serving captains in Montreal history, as his ten years at the helm ties Jean Beliveau. Despite being there for so long, he never won a cup in Montreal. Then he joined Anaheim after their cup year superteam broke up. Eat it, loser.