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Leftover Chowder: Bruins @ Canucks Game Thread Recap

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We're gonna party like it's 1999 2011.

"Prust" rhymes with "disgust". Just saying.
"Prust" rhymes with "disgust". Just saying.
Anne-Marie Sorvin-USA TODAY Sports

The preamble to the game thread recap: It was a chippy game and I love to gloat about winning the Cup in Vancouver and causing a riot. The Bruins won 4-0 in Vancouver last night, and it was great, but it wasn't as great as the 4-0 win that was followed by the riot that caused this awesomeness:

I would also like to point out that I'm extremely disappointed in myself and others (mostly myself, though) that this gif wasn't used once in the game thread.

I know riots aren't good. But you know what?  I don't care, because riot push-ups are awesome, especially when you aren't the one doing them. We won. They lost and got shut out in game 7, and thus deserve to do extracurricular calisthenics, like riot push-ups.

Anyway, on to the recap...

PERIOD 1:

Things started out on a good note, with Chowderers being adequately prepared for the game.

Looks like we were adequately prepared for the lineup, too.

We were so prepared, we even lamented preemptively.

Agent 86 (K Miller) be like:

Much hate. Such contempt. Very Stanley Cup. Wow.

TimRich88's got a new alter ego. I never pictured him as a Rigo, nor do I understand how someone could get "Rigo" from "Tim".

Thread not interesting enough? That’s okay, we’ll just summon chain smoker by conjuring up his favorite elixir!

Marshy scored. Krug scored. The possibility of Vatrano scoring was so intriguing that a new term has been coined:

That alter ego thing is still going strong... and apparently it has a higher tolerance, too.

Holyhandgrenaid was at the top of his gif game.

HHG is on point.

Satan81 woke up from his Teutonic slumber to a 2-0 lead. BBKM and HHG want him to join in the fun. Mordor? He’s not drinking, or doing crack. Just regular Coke.

I can honestly say I don’t want to know about this:

And neither does the german hammer.

Period 1B: What Team Is This?

It started off well: The Carolina Flushing Toilets beat the Montreal Toilet Seats. Also, We all agreed that the Bruins should keep rolling.

So, Miss Muse, She Who Likes Many Teams, Except for the Canucks, started off the period by #Adulting so hard that she forgot how to spell things too good.

It also apparently takes her a decade to finish a six pack.

It wouldn't be Chowder without some sort of food fight:

I agree, that crispy crowns are very good, but I also agree that YES POTATO THINGS ARE TASTY, ALL OF THEM.

All of this, of course, turned into an #AdultOff about who was hardcore #Adulting (hint, it was holyhandgrenaid).

It's a walkoff AdultOff!

So, Bruins Defenseman Adam McQuaid took a shot to the wrist and had to leave the game. Chowderites dealt with this accordingly:

Yikes!

We are helpful types, ready, willing, and able to dispense unwanted advice to other NHL teams:

And, maybe, reminisce fondly:

Here at Stanley Cup of Chowder, it's always a glorious day to hate the Habs!

xIqm1XU.0.gifv

BBKM had something to say about that:

That phony, she brings her A Game, for sure.

Jack Edwards also brought his A Game.

So much man. Too much man.

The german hammer brought the goals. We were thankful.

It didn't take long for anyone to come up with a nickname for Landon Ferraro, who scored a goal.

The german hammer finally joined the thread and was confronted by fellow Bearly on Topic podcaster BBKM about who won the Adam McQuaid Injury Lottery (because we're terrible people).

Muse set us straight:

This devolved, or is it evolved, into Pie Talk™, coming soon to a podcasting platform near you.

Seriously, GH is about more than pies. For instance, she gives German lessons:

She also bakes cookies:

phony went on a date earlier today and we Chowderites know exactly what is the most important thing about it- his footwear.

This spawned a longer conversation about what is good to wear on a date (Timmy wears pants and not sneakers), what traits we can or can't change (vegetable consumption, hair length, cheapness, personal style). Consult the thread for more in depth coverage.

Although Markstrom was in net, it's always a good time to point out how much Ryan Miller looks like he was put together by a drunk person, or even Picasso.

His features are just off. Well, really off. Especially when you compare him to one Patrice Bergeron, who is perfect in every way.

Even the male Chowderites think so.

Then a spectacular discussion about cars happened. It started with this plea for help:

Leading to this, the most recched of the thread:

There is a new standard for rating cars, and this is it.

Anyway, lots of beautiful car talk in the thread for your viewing pleasure.

PERIOD 1C:

Before we get comfy in the 3rd period, I really want to send a special shout out to BBKM, for his period marking during this game. BBKM without you, we’d have torn out our hair trying to do this.

BBKM, I guess, is also playing the part of our resident conspiracy theorist tonight.

Oh Vancouver, never change. We will always remember 2011, as much as you will. We’ll just be a LOT happier.

UNCMedievalist recently has been wanting things to turn into the Hunger Games. I thought grad school only made people masochists.

More Czech B’s found his way into the game thread after a long sabbatical, and seriously, guys, who is gonna be the one to write up the guidelines for not having the Hockey Gods shit all over us? He needs to read it.

More Czech B’s feels such a kinship with his Czech brethren, that it seems like we almost lost him when holyhandgrenaid pointed out an ugly truth.

Denial is not just a river, MCB’s. And I thought Vrbata’s first name was Radim, not Lazarus.

Anyways, WalkIntoMordor went into salvage mode and actually tried to cheer him up. More Czech B’s looked to be in desperate need of his blankie and some cookies.

Finally, for the Bruins, this game had gone all kinds of clown shoes, but in the good way. Even Jack and Brick started delighting in it.

After Randell scored against Markstrom, we had a discussion on what his nickname could be.

Ouch. Well, you’re not wrong, UNCMedievalist. Personally, I think he already has one of the run-of the-mill ones, like Rands or Randsy or the Tyler We All Like. I don’t know.

Miss Muse, maybe in a (crooked) nod to current Canuck Ryan Miller, had to go on the record with how she felt about Alex Burrows.  Alex Fucking Burrows. HHG expressed his disgust in a more metaphorical way. Phonymahoney was either confused or shocked. I’m not sure. See the thread for details.

Also our dear friend Brandon Prust made his presence, uh, felt during the game, and the love notes just came pouring in. You know what’s better than coffee that can also keep you awake? Rage.

That codpiece is a big fat NO, HHG. I have crossed my legs every time I’ve run across it…oh that’s a bad turn of phrase…every time I have seen it since you posted it.

Pretty damn scary, am I right?

And finally, presented without comment. I’m just gonna leave you here with what happens when the Bruins win a game and we’re all running on fumes. En-fucking-joy.

MYMXO0WpbYD0Q.0.html

BOOM!

Word, phony.

Star of the period, right there.

STARS OF THE GAME(THREAD):

  • holyhandgrenaid, for things like bad taste vs. cheapness, reminding us that signing with a team is voluntary, and gifs of us jumping into a hole
  • phonymahoney and UNCMedievalist, for engaging in a papal rap battle
  • the german hammer, for bringing the goals

Good game, Chowderinos.