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GIF Recap: Canucks 5 - Bozos 2

This team is painful to watch.

Anne-Marie Sorvin-USA TODAY Sports

First Period:

Shawn Matthias pops home a feed from (*gulp* future Bruin?) Zach Kassian, and gives those pesky shits from British Columbia a 1-0 lead.

Dougie Hamilton with an egregious turnover and Matthias adds his second goal in three minutes and eighteen seconds. Matthias 2 - Bruins 0.

Patrice Bergeron does that thing he does a lot where he puts the team on his back and keeps them/brings them back into the game. Bad Guys 2 - Mismanaged-Salary-Cap-Team 1.

Bruins continued to give themselves hope, killing off a high-sticking double-minor to Gregory Campbell 12:30 into the period. Campbell took the penalty in the offensive-zone, because, uh, he's not very good.

Dan Hamhuis gets two-minutes for boarding, throwing a forearm shiver into Pastrnak along the boards.

Second Period

The Bruins looked dead, and shitty, and just really, really bad. Radim Vrbata - a guy they should have signed over the summer - gave Vancouver a 3-1 lead. Beautiful pass from Chris Higgins after he wins a puck battle with the much larger and stronger Adam McQuaid.

TRADES, THEY ARE A COMIN'! (Lets hope, anyway)

Third Period

Chris Kelly scores, unassisted, on a shot that Ryan Miller probably should have stopped. But it counts, and it pulled Boston back to within one at 3-2.

Matthias gets his third of the night. He should find a nice hat and give it to Dennis Seidenberg, who was responsible for creating the scoring opportunity. Tuukka Rask looks like he wants to run someone over with a car afterwards, and you can't really blame him, because his defensemen stink.

Jannik Hansen added an empty net tally and I'm going to forgo that GIF. I'm lazy and sad.