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Don Sweeney's future, according to a magic 8-ball

Hey, at least he's got fashion sense.
Hey, at least he's got fashion sense.
Dave Sandford/Getty Images

So, the Bruins announced today that Don Sweeney will be taking over as General Manager for the foreseeable future. So I did what any reasonable person would do, and asked a magic 8 ball:

I'm going to interpret that as he'll build...over time. Although the hat has a green cross on it, so maybe he'll GM as though he's high as a kite, for a long time? Maybe it's just trying to say high times. Stupid 8-ball. Let's ask a less vague question, shall we? Yes. Let's cut to the chase, here. Will Don Sweeney GM the Bruins to a cup?

Okay, that's promising. I see fireworks going off above a bank and a cow. I mean, that's practically TD (the bank) Garden (the cow) right there. 8-Ball thinks we're headed for glory under Sweeney's new reign. And that's excellent news. Let's see, now. What else do we need to know? Oh yeah, the important stuff. Will Dougie be re-signed?

A half moon and a rabbit. What the heck even is this? I think it's taunting me at this point. Let's get a little more specific. Will Dougie be re-signed soon?

A train and a video camera. They're going to wait until training camp and then put it on TV? That'll be a great open for the next season of Behind the B. The tail wags the dog, I see. *taps nose knowingly* Very good.

Got any questions for the emoji 8-ball? Post 'em in the comments.