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How Old are the Bruins?

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Why go by date of birth when you can have a computer tell you how many years you've been on this earth?

Putting the "old" back in "old time hockey"
Putting the "old" back in "old time hockey"
Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports

Last week we had another black/blue vs. white/gold internet frenzy, but this one was far less cynical and much more curious. The site How-Old.net appeared out of nowhere, a site platooned by Microsoft that allows you to upload photos of yourself (or others) before it spits out your age, based solely on the facial recognition software. The tool is far from accurate, but has proven to create for some pretty humorous moments, even getting NHL teams to take notice.

But then we got to thinking... How old are the Bruins? So we took 25 members of this past years' roster and popped them into the fancy schmancy tool. And the results? Well... this team is pretty damn old.

Forwards

Defense

Goalies

So we've learned a few things. First of all, Reilly Smith is the youngest player on the team at any position, barely edging out Brian Ferlin. The real youngest player on the team, David Pastrnak? He's already past his prime at 31 years old. The bot nails Captain Zdeno Chara at 38 years old, but thinks the same of both Franchise netminder Tuukka Rask and the recently departed Carl Soderberg.

The oldest forward is newcomer Maxime Talbot, and to be honest I wouldn't disagree with that photo. The oldest defenseman is actually the German Hammer, Dennis Seidenberg. I didn't know this tool could be used to judge hockey performance, because Seidenberg looked like he was 45-years-old on the ice this year. And the team's newest center, Ryan Spooner, is actually their oldest still on the team, at 37--ahead of Patrice Bergeron (36), David Krejci (33), and even Chris Kelly, who was the only player in this test that came back younger than his actual age.

Oh, and just for kicks...

you're welcome.