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My Kingdom for a Defenseman, Part 5: Russel, Polak, Quincey, and Schenn are all Grossman

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Welcome to the trash barrel. Do not pick up anything in here.

Marc DesRosiers-USA TODAY Sports

Yup.

It's time to cover the bad players.

I'd really rather not talk about plain old bad players that the Bruins shouldn't sign, so none of these guys are getting their own article. Hell, some of these guys are barely getting a blurb. That said, there will be good players who will get full articles on why the Bruins shouldn't sign them in the near future.

All posts prior to this one can be found here.

In part 1, I identified 3 clues that can lead to a good UFA signing. They are:

1. We want a guy who's underrated, so his market value will likely be below his actual to-the-team value

2. We want a guy who's not that old on a relatively short contract

3. We want a guy who's playing style hopefully won't cause him to burn out quickly after starting his deal

These aren't requirements. They're more like helpful hints. None are necessarily deal makers, and the absence of one is not necessarily a deal breaker.

Let's start looking at some bad defenseman, starting with the king of trash himself.

How to read a hero chart

KRIS RUSSEL

Hero chart - 

Age - 29

Current salary - 2.6 million

Expected price for his next contract - Between 5 and 5.5 million, according to Bob McKenzie

Kris Russel is good, but 5.5 mil for a back up goalie just seems to be-

...What?

I'm being told now that Kris Russel is not, in fact, a goalie. No, apparently he's just a defense that does absolutely nothing but stand in front of his own goal and attempt to block shots. Wait, isn't that called "being a goalie"? I'm confused.

Kris Russel is bad. He's worse than Adam McQuaid, and certainly worse than Kevan Miller. And he's going to get what those two make combined.

He can't exit his own zone to save his life, he can't move the puck through the neutral zone, and he can't keep the puck on sides when in the other team's zone.

One thing Kris Russel is good at is blocking shots. He's so good at it, in fact, that after blocking a shot he will just let the other team get the puck back. That way, they can shoot the puck again, and he gets to block another shot! What fun!

Kris Russel does end up playing a lot of minutes. Not because he's good, or because he handles them well. Usually, he gets put out for one shift, and after that the other team gets about 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted zone time and he just can't change.

Please, Bruins. For the love of Bobby Orr, do not sign this man.

ROMAN POLAK

Hero chart -

Age - 30

Current contract - 2.75 million

Next contract - 2.5-3 mil

Imagine a worse version of Kevan Miller.

Now that you're imagining Adam McQuaid, imagine if he were named Roman Polak.

Even if you think Roman Polak could be a useful player for the Bruins, we pretty much already have 2 guys that are pretty much the same as him. This isn't a Lovejoy situation, where he'd be a clear upgrade. No, we're looking at a player who'd most likely an actual down grade to whoever's set to play 3RD next season.

Also, have you been watching the Stanley Cup FinalCheck out all the times the Sharks have given up a goal against, guess who was in some way responsible.

Let's just not.

KYLE QUINCEY

Hero chart -

Age - 30

Current contract - 4.25 million

Next contract - Most likely a similar price, for 3-4 years

Kyle Quincey is a great argument for why stats are important. Once dubbed "The Eraser" by Mike Babcock, Quincey's possession struggles were always given an asterisk because he reduced the quality of shots the other team took. And attempts to quantify shot quality have certainly reflected this. Quincey most definitely does something to measureably lower the quality of his opponents shots. No one is debating that.

The problem comes from the sheer volume of shots he allows. Quincey allows so many shots that, even at a reduced quality, he's still worse at preventing goals than the average player. That's not good. And it's something that you can only see by quantifying what's going on on the ice.

Let's not sign him.

LUKE SCHENN & NICKLAS GROSSMAN

Hero charts -

Ages - 26 for Schenn, 31 for Grossman

Current contracts - 3.6 million for Schenn, 3.5 for Grossman

Next contract - Too much

Both of these guys are Kyle Quincey but worse.

Just say no, Sweeney.

That said, is there anyone here I'm wrong on? Anyone you think should be signed?