The Bruins are replacing the Ice Girls with the most Boston-model promo team ever

The Bruins announced today that they're seeking people to be on a new "promo team." This is very cool, because it appears that they've done away with the Ice Girls. A little bit less male-gazey nonsense at hockey games, yay! A team to do game promotions and community outreach without having their bodies centered as a form of entertainment! This is a great thing!

BUT WAIT.

Let's take a look at the requirements laid out in this post.

can we all just take a sec to appreciate the "core values" of the promo team the bruins are replacing ice girls with pic.twitter.com/ee2zO5uvD0

— Sarah Connors (@sarah_connors) August 12, 2016

THE BRUINS ARE LITERALLY ATTEMPING TO BUILD A PROMO TEAM OF GRIT, PASSION, AND HEART

THE JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES

That said, remember when teams were trying to follow the gritheartpassion "Boston model" after the Bruins won the cup and that was obviously a terrible idea? Here's a Boston model the NHL could definitely benefit from getting behind.