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The Great Olympic Jersey Re-Do: Group B

Man, this edition changed a lot over a few months.

Olympic Preview: U.S. Olympic Team Media Summit Jeff Swinger-USA TODAY Sports

So we’ve made it to Group B in our great Olympic Jersey re-do, and uh...

...Yeah, I wasn’t prepared for what happened to Russia. I don’t think anyone was.

Which means one whole section of this had to be completely re-written and re-done. So without further ado, here’s Group B, featuring the USA and...well.

Our first team.

Russia Olympic Athletes from Russia

Sooo....yeah...Not only was the jersey I made completely invalidated by the IOC, it invalidated the Russian jersey Nike ended up making. They might still wear that red rag, but it won’t really matter. They’ll just go into the books as the Olympic Athletes. do you create a sweater that’s supposed to be Olympic but not specific to any one country? Well...

Just make a generic white jersey, I guess. Everyone who plays you is playing with a home/dark jersey under this new setup. Maybe add the olympic ring colors for stripes.

And hey! Just think of all the money you could make on selling the generic sweaters online!

For the record, this is what I would’ve had for the Russian national team...but regrettably someone’s urine had a radioactive half-life, so nuts to this, I guess.

I really liked these too...

Anyway, onto the rest of the group!


One thing I knew I had to do was ensure that Slovakia wouldn’t be confused for the USA, which was something that happened and keeps happening with the current setup both sides ice, and while neither would be confused in the upcoming games, Slovakia still fails pretty miserably by not letting Slovakia’s phenominal crest speak for itself.

Oh, and the crappy, 80’s aesthetic but not, cut up-y gradient. Again. That still bothers the crap out of me.

We’re cutting all that out and going simple and clean, as hockey jerseys should be.

There, we’re making good and goshdarn sure they DON’T look like the USA, too. As we’re using a deeper, colder blue, but keeping the things that aren’t bad in their current uniforms.


Slovenia’s I admit is more of a personal hope than anything else. A number of IOC regulations would have to be loosened in order for this particular setup to exist, and specifically regarding Slovenia’s Crest, which I now have included Slovenia’s national team’s nickname into: The Lynx. I know it’s not allowed, and quite frankly, I don’t care. It looks better with it.

Of course, anything can look better than their upcoming set-up, which currently boasts the worst use of Blue and Green I’ve seen in a good long while using gradients that just don’t work together at all. So I put some hard separation between all of those colors.

See? Even, no gradients, for how bright this scheme’s going to can do this! You’re a multi-million dollar company, Nike! You can hire people with common sense!

United States of America:

Look, I’m gonna come right out and say it...

The USA’s jerseys at the Olympics have been pretty ass lately, and this most recent edition? Extra ass-y. Swamp Ass-y. Not good at all. They’ve either been too generic or too enslaved to Nike’s lazy templating, and 2018’s set is the worst version of this yet. The bastardizing of the 1980’s era sweater with the diagonal text is just an absolute travesty regarding something that they’re asking you to pay near $150 dollars for. For this. That’s just not right.

To me? You can, and should, be able to find a special place where you can get just the right amount of patriotic, but also make sure it doesn’t slap the tradition of USA hockey right in the face. How can you get there?

Simple. You go back to basics when it comes to patriotism, and who does patriotism like the United States, right?

13 stripes, 50 stars, eagle with a classic block font that tells you everything you need to know. ‘Murica in it’s purest form.

Oh, and the 80’s throwback? As it was when it graced Mike Eruzione’s back. No need to mess with that.

With Group B done and over with, I have but one group remaining, Group C, which means fixing Norway, Germany, Sweden, Finland and Japan.

Until next time!

And of course remember...Don’t give Nike your money.