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So! Welcome to the All-Star Games! Who's ready for some 3-on-3!?

THE TIME: 8:15pm EST, 9:15 EST for the game with Pastrnak in it

THE PLACE: SAP Center, San Jose, California

THE STAKES: Braggin’ rights, as well as prize money

Why didn’t you have a thread for the skills competition?: While that would’ve been fun, the reality is that in the past almost nobody has used it when we made one. So one for the All-Star Game it is.

Did David Pastrnak actually do anything at the Skillz Comp?: Yeah! He won the accuracy shooting contest! Yay Pasta!

He also swore in front of the press while fixing his hair! What a card!

Place to Watch: NBC, CBC, TVAS, Sportsnet

Place to Listen: Uhh...NBC Radio?

The Rosters: Right here, b0ss

Game One: Central vs. Pacific - 8:15pm EST

Should I watch?: Yeah, if only to find out what Connor McDavid on a good team would probably look like. I’d keep this on in the background if I were you. A vast majority of the Central team is guys you kinda expected too so...yeah, just keep this on the backburner.

Sky’s Pick: McDavid, so frustrated from playing with plugs for half a season, decides enough’s enough and drops 40 on the Central and sings the entirety of Beware into Pierre McGuire’s confused, terrified, moist face at intermission.

Game Two: Atlantic vs. Metropolitan - 9:15pm EST

Should I watch?: David Pastrnak’s in it, so yeah I’d definitely watch it.

Sky’s Pick: Holtby conveniently remembers he’s at the ASG and phones it in, allowing several players to get hat tricks based on lazily drifting the puck in the general vicinity of the net and the Metro goes back to drinking Long Island Iced Teas in the stands.

Should I even watch the third game if there’s a possibility of Pastrnak not being in it?:

What else are you gonna do on a Saturday night at 10?

And with all that done, enjoy your gamethread!

What’s on your all-star tap? For this case, we’ll call this roster by category:

  1. Beer (Or similarly fermented beverage like Cider, I’m not judging)
  2. Wine
  3. Clear Liquor
  4. Brown Liquor
  5. Cocktail