As the B’s went out to Lake Tahoe, and like all their outdoor games, they well absolutely all out on their pre-game looks. But unlike their previous outdoor game, where they went with a sharp, “Peaky Blinders” setup that definitely was quite impressive, but placed a premium on individuality, the B’s opted to go...in the other direction this year:
Yes, instead of a sharp suit look, the Bruins decided to go full late 80s’-early 90’s, and it is GLORIOUS.
But as it goes, we have the unenviable task of taking an entire team of 10 outta 10 looks, and finding which is the 10-est of the 10. So we asked our writers, and some of our friends from Jewels From the Crown and Anaheim Calling (thanks, Robyn and Rusty!) before and after the game to gaze upon these glorious looks, and rank them based on their own criteria. We did not ask, because we figure they spoke for themselves.
welcome to being a bruins fan I made an ID guide for anyone new here pic.twitter.com/3Fowzj3X0w— max (@mxellery) February 21, 2021
And with that done, let us take a look at SCoC’s official rankings of the 2021 Tahoe Pre-game Looks! Starting from 21, and going up to the best look of them all:
21 and 20 - Sean Kuraly and Craig Smith
While all of these looks are absolutely incredible individually, there was unfortunately only so much that each guy could do to really distinguish themselves, and 21 and 20 I think mostly got these low votes for one reason: While flashy, both look conceivably like something that somebody would wear today. And don’t get me wrong, it’s very flashy and stylish, but maybe in comparison, it looks a little tame.
Smith especially. He looks like a model for Zubaz. Which, while it would have almost certainly rocketed him up this list, he opted out of.
19 - Connor Clifton
Now I’m sure you’re wondering “How on earth did Cliffy end up lower on this list than somebody who’s wearing the exact same thing?“ I should remind you that this is a purely aesthetics and opinion based ranking. Something that might work on someone might not work on someone else. And according to our completely subjective rankings, people thought he somehow wore it worse than Steven Kampfer.
Oh well. It is what it is.
18 - Nick Ritchie
Now here’s a hot take if I ever saw one: the most obvious choice may not be the best
Ritchie’s sweater and pants feature the iconic “Jazz” design seen on generic Solo paper cups and the like that were ubiquitous to the time period. This would likely rank him higher were it not for the nostalgia market beating him to the punch, turning the design into a semi-ironic, on the nose way to identify the time period.
Oh well, at least we can pour out some Josta in it so everybody gets some.
17 - Steven Kampfer
Kampfer ended up wearing mostly the same thing as Connor Clifton. For whatever reason, the bandana being worn like it was supposed to be, instead of as a bandana, did it for people. It’s the little things, I guess.
16 - Brandon Carlo
Carlo kinda got buried in the team photo, which is kind of a shame, because his choice of sweater is powerful (as seen on the right).
3/4s Zips like that deserve nothing but the attention of all fools who dare to step to his snowboarding skills.
15 - Anders Bjork
Bjork has a lot going on for him, especially going for a local reference in the lakers jersey. Just can’t quite nail that windbreaker. If it was also lakers colors? top 5, easy. If you’re gonna play to the local crowd, make sure everyone hears you say it.
Oh, and that particular Lakers jersey is something they only started wearing a couple years ago. Whoops.
14 - Jack Studnicka
Studnicka’s choice of Bethel basketball jersey and bright neon jacket definitely has a lot of promise, but the refusal in either photo taken to wear his shades knocks him down a point. Be more radical, Studs.
13 - Tuukka Rask
Rask’s proportions make what would’ve likely been a much baggier jacket fit rather well, allowing the pattern to fit be displayed perfectly. Ironically, this actually makes him one of the less ostentatious of the group, because now he kinda just looks like a pro snowboarder.
There’s an alternate universe where he probably got Silver at Sochi.
12 - Urho Vaakanainen
Vaakanainen’s look definitely feels a lot “dadlier” than the others. Less like people who will one day look back on a photo like this when their kids find it and feel embarassment, but a much more mature look from the same time frame. Of these guys, Vaak’s checkerboard patterned windbreaker combined with white hat feels like an outfit he will be wearing well into his 60’s.
11 - Jeremy Lauzon
Oh Jeremy...you and your luck.
While it’s a very understated look, the MMPR sweater is doing a MASSIVE amount of work for you. And not just the fact that it does indeed take the Saban entertainment classic (especially if you watched it’s snorefest japanese counterpart, trust me.) and turn it into fashion, the fact that it’s heather means it’s even more time period accurate. Very solid.
10 - Charlie McAvoy
Mac paying tribute to 1995’s favorite animated movie: Toy Story with those toy greens and blues.
Gotta love it.
9 - Trent Frederic
A fun fact is that both Freddy and Coyle ended up with a tie in the averages, but I had to make a judgement call and while Frederic’s EXTREMELY powerful choice of jacket, tied up sweatshirt and ski pants works in his favor...The Sublime shirt...well...
Trent Frederic (sigh) confirms that he bought his Sublime shirt recently. "I think that's 90s, right?"— Matt Porter (@mattyports) February 22, 2021
...Be happy you made it into the top 10, kid.
8 - Charlie Coyle
Coyle is very high on this list in spite of having a more undersold look through the magic of authenticity. As Dan pointed out on twitter, this is not just an outfit someone might actually wear, this is an outfit that must have come from memory:
Too many of you are overlooking Charlie Coyle's turtleneck and location-appropriate sweatshirt. pic.twitter.com/WCTA1we1wg— Dan (@bruinshockeynow) February 22, 2021
I can say with perfect honesty that a member of my own family dresses like this in the winter in 2021 without a hint of irony. And I’m pretty sure Coyle’s drawing on that too.
7 - John Moore
The jumpsuit that unquestionably lives up to the hype, only brought down perhaps by the lack of confidence in it, as the post-game presser showed:
"We’re just trying to have fun. I can’t say this will be a staple of my wardrobe, but it’s fun." -- John Moore pic.twitter.com/CRgsEbEnKX— Boston Bruins (@NHLBruins) February 22, 2021
John, half an outfit is how confident you are in it. And while it is definitely fitting the theme, you’ve gotta help sell it.
6 - Jake DeBrusk
Once again, panels and pastels reign supreme on Jake’s fit. And given his earnest smile and boyish looks, it only deems it fit to say “I got this outfit at christmas from an aunt and do I care? No. I’m the dude who makes the jokes about it, not the dude getting the jokes made about it.”
Frankly, it’s just nice to see “amiable dork” get representation outside of sportswriting circles.
5 - Jaroslav Halak
Once again a goalie controversy, though thankfully only this time for aesthetic reasons.
Halak committed a lot harder to the bit than Rask did, going out of his way to fish an old cell phone out from somewhere, as well as accessorizing beautifully with that fake mullet that was so convincing people actually forgot he was wearing one. It should also note that in the action shot department...
...Halak probably takes the cake. Couldn’t bring that to the team photo however, so as good as this look is, he can take solace in that he made the top 5.
4 - Brad Marchand
Brad Marchand knows one thing and one thing only: to be the heel. And his response to being the heel was to go out and find the single most “Ski movie villain” attire he possibly could, and man did he knock it out of the park.
Not just a jumpsuit, but a jumpsuit with Flames. You can just hear his disdainful laugh as he blasts past the protagonist of the movie. Just a powerful look.
3 - Chris Wagner
If Marchand is the Ski Movie Villain, then Wagner is the Ski Movie Mentor Who Lost It All or the Ski Movie Legend Who Inspires The Protagonist, because his suit is everything Marchand’s is not: Clean, but still using the bright colours of the era. It also has the side effect, due to his size, of slightly making him look like a younger man than he actually is, or like Eddie The Eagle’s cooler brother.
thinking about chris wagner in this jumpsuit <3 pic.twitter.com/ESYqSSfk2y— ava (@avclre_) February 22, 2021
Either way, another powerful choice.
2 - David Pastrnak
Pastrnak’s choices were as loud as his smile is big. Many people forget that what we traditionally ascribe to the 90’s actually came much later, and that the early 90’s was...well...a lot more of this than we’d like to remember:
i’m sorry you saw him show up like this and didn’t think he’d go off? can’t relate pic.twitter.com/JOF9jfc1Fp— brianna pirre (@bsp_13) February 22, 2021
Of course, that was mere potatoes to the actual game he played, but it also shows us that Pasta can throw himself hard at the prompt put in front of him (An average joe on his day off in 1993), and pull it off big time. The sunglasses also show us that even if they’ve gone out of style among modern dads, he’s still ready to harken to dad life once his child comes.
1 - Patrice Bergeron
Patrice Bergeron, Captain of the Boston Bruins, can seemingly do no wrong, and this time, in trying to look gaudy, ostentatious and nostalgic for a very specific time of north american aesthetics, and of course, he somehow finds a way to look truly incredible.
Patrice Bergeron doesn’t just have the windbreaker and the direct reference to the team president, he has the perfect windbreaker, and the perfect sweater to compliment it: a Mass Lottery 1990 playoffs sweater. You could easily see this look on a Robert Zemeckis directed movie poster. Combine that with a black and gold walkman and it’s no contest. A captain leads, and Bergeron leads of course with the perfect look.
And why not? According to David Pastrnak, this was Patrice’s idea all along.
Just sensational. Truly impeccable.
Who do you think had the best look? Let us know in the comments below.